But I remember when I felt that way about my first husband.
Then the same about my second.
And over & over about half a dozen times since the two of them...
So I KNOW there IS a man "better" than this one. Somehow. Out there.
For me.
Still I wonder, HOW CAN THIS BE??!
Because he is THE BEST I've ever known.
By far.
Which in no way lessens the others...
*Which none of them have ever grasped, but whatever.*
IT JUST MEANS THEY KEEP GETTING BETTER & BETTER!!
Not that the others are any less.
*Doesn't that make sense? It's so simple to me...*
Oh, heavens... I just don't know what to do.
He's so marvelous, but...
K.
Something weird just happened.
I wrote a few sentences *about him not wanting me/to be with me* & then all of a sudden they disappeared & this song was playing *Fall For You, by Secondhand Serenade* that I've never heard before... And I felt it touch me, somehow, & it MATTERED... Like, it wanted me to listen to it!
So, I did. =)
Of course.
And, since I don't believe in coincidences, it somehow breathed fresh hope into my lungs, & I think I may not need to find that next man, that "better" man.
I'm so sick of that, btw, finding the next best thing, which is always better, but not for any reason that they think.
It's ONLY cuz the last best thing CHOSE NOT TO BE THE ONE.
Period.
Not for any other reason.
And it's soooooo sad to me.
Over & over & over again.
They choose NOT TO BE THE ONE & I beg & plead & do my best to convince & help them see HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM, but no. Oh, no. They'll have none of it.
Or they want a better woman.
Good luck.
GQTM, no offense to all the other women out there, but really?
Better than ME?
Not possible.
Not because they're any less than I, either, but because I am the ONLY ME & I am the best.
Period.
Only thing makes them any better than I is IF the man chooses to see more good in them than he was willing to in me.
Really. That's the way it works.
And I'm so tired of knowing all these amazing secrets of the universal way relationships work & continuing to be the "lesson learned" in their lives.
I want one to LAST.
Oh, dear God, help me here.
I'm so tired, so very tired.
And more than just cuz I haven't slept a wink all night.
More than just cuz I've been in extreme pain.
More than cuz he was in pain & I could do nothing to ease it.
More than any reason I can come up with.
So very tired.
So please bless me now, Father...
And let me listen to the song again & keep the hope of it's message...
Somehow.
And bless it to become some funky-cool prophecy, please.
Please??
I love Thee & him & I ache to please Thee both AND get what I KNOW will bring me ultimate happiness, Father... That's all I'm asking... A man who loves everything about me & will choose to stay with me forever, that's not too much to ask is it?? LOL, of course it is...n't! ;)
Love Thee, Father,
In Jesus' name I Thank Thee,
No Matter What,
Amen.
