I will never ask for keeping a man who isn't thoroughly thrilled with me AGAIN!!
I'm floored.
How God works His magic is SO Beyond Me!! In such a beautiful way! =)
Such a short time-frame!! CanNOT even grasp how recently I wrote that last post & yet how LONG AGO that was! Hah!! Life! What a trip. =)
That song DID give me hope... Just enough to keep going...
Until I saw how much better it could be, & was able to make a choice.
Keep holding on to a man who doesn't want to be held??
OR actually move into the arms of one who's GLAD I'm there...
Hmmm, that's a tough one. ;)
What I've discovered:
Men will NOT learn how much I love them by me sticking around, in ridiculously un-ending patience, aiming to show them how marvelous they are & how good for them I am...
Cuz they would rather be right than loved.
And that's okay.
I'll leave them to it. ;)
And let one FIND ME that prefers love & passion OVER pride & control!!
Uh-huh. =)
That's right. ;)
GQTM...
And I finally FEEL the truth of that concept, though I been sayin' it for ages.
Hmmmmm... Feels Good... Verrrrrrry verrrrry verrry GOOD.
So.
On to the fun stuff:
Damn, baby, you is HOT!!
Never imagined, to be perfectly honest, that such a one would be as into me as you are...
Which is a li'l sad, now that I think of it, since I'm so fabulous. ;)
You'd think I would've dreamed up a hottie for myself!! LOL! ;)
But, no, I didn't care about such trivial things... Always looking deeper.
Besides the fact that, unfortunately this is a very new realization *Thank you for showing me!*, the fact that I was "prejudiced" against super-gorgeous men!! Thought y'all were "players"!
What a shock for me to discover, let me tell ya, as I "pride myself" on taking people as individuals & NOT making snap-judgments...
Oops.
I asked if you could forgive me, & I sure hope you continue to... ;)
Cuz I was oh, so very, very WRONG!!
Happily so!!
But still: SO VERY , VERY WRONG!!! =)))
Mm-M!! Darlin' you is Fiiiine AND honest AND clear AND intelligent AND all sorts of everything else!! =) You haven't disappointed me yet, not in a single moment.
Shocking for such a "playboy"!! ;)
Which, of course, doesn't mean much, since barely enough time at all has passed...
But STILL!!
What FUN you are!! =)
I feel more gorgeous than EVER &, I gotta say, I been feelin' gorgeous daily for quite some time now... So. Kudos to you. ;)
Helpin' me reach new heights of self-satisfaction, darlin'...
And I LIKE it. ;)
On a more serious note:
I realized this morning why I draw the sexually repressed, or worse, to me...
And it is a very sad, yet liberating, dawning of light to a very dark truth...
I.
Yes, I.
Have been incredibly... Sexually repressed.
Yep. =(
Being raped at the age of three sure fucks you up.
*Quite literally, hahahaha!!
Sorry, that was sick. GQTM... But damn funny... :p*
Anyway.
I really GOT it this morning.
So clearly.
I HAVE been sending "mixed messages"!!
With a major lack of trust "issue"!
How on earth did I not see it before??
I mean, I saw it years ago, but thought I'd dealt with it all...
Come to find out this a.m. that, no, in fact, there were still remnants of darkness blinding my sight, blocking my ability to see how IIIIIIIIIIIIIII was the reason those relationships "failed".
Damn.
Anyway, I got over it, got up & gettin' to my day, came to express myself, now gotta go to lunch with a dear friend, & AM PLEASED AS PUNCH WITH MY LIFE!! =)))
Ciao! ;)
