I thought you knew me.
I thought you'd know the difference between knowing & assuming.
I thought you'd ask, if you didn't know.
I thought you'd ask, even if you thought you knew, if you were thinking negatively, just to make sure you really knew, so you'd never assume something negative about me unnecessarily.
I thought you knew me.
I thought you wanted to.
I thought you would speak up, to clarify, when you needed to.
I thought I'd always have an opportunity to fill you in, if you needed more information, cuz we'd have conversations for the rest of our lives, so we could clear things up.
I thought you knew me.
I thought wrong.
You thought I should care about differences between countries & when people were born.
You thought I should ask you more how things are in your life, even though I do on a regular basis & you don't tell me much more than the fluff stuff, cuz you don't wanna have conversations that aren't fun & light & whatever.
You thought that must mean that I'm selfish, or don't care enough about you, or something, even though I was respecting your time-table & need for privacy.
You thought a lot of other things, that I have no idea of, because you never shared them.
Until you were close to done.
Then...
A cuss-word or two & you can't handle me anymore??
What nonsense.
Absolute & utter nonsense.
You thought wrong.
You go find a mother that's had her husband, of nearly a decade, leave her... Her second husband choke her & threaten her life & violate her children... Those same children be handed over to that first husband, to temporarily care for them while she places her fourth & last baby for adoption... Then have her remain separated from them for two long F-ing years &, just to top it off, have her realize that that first husband now has NO INTENTION of even allowing her three beautiful children TO EVEN SPEAK WITH HER, let alone live with her again...
And go give her some shit about dancing & cussing & being grateful for a man in her life who is handsome & honest & intelligent & respects her & -God Forbid!- also drinks alcohol.
See how well that works for a quick conversation.
Oh, yeah, AND a quick conversation THAT YOU ALREADY MADE UP YOUR MIND ABOUT BEFORE YOU LAID IT OUT!!!
See if this other *lovely, dancing, church-going, scripture-studying, ensign-pondering, conference-anticipating, sex-abstaining-though-it's-cussing-up-a-storm-harder-than-anyone-can-even-come-close-to-imagining-thank-you-very-much, non-alcohol-drinking, ALL-ALONE-DOING-THE-BEST-DAMN-JOB-SHE-CAN* woman would be as polite!
And all that crap mentioned above??
That this woman has dealt with??
*With dignity & grace, mind you, for the most part...*
YOU KNOW that's only the tiniest portion of what has ACTUALLY occurred in her life, during the last few years, & is absolutely NOTHING when one considers THE WHOLE of her life.
But...
That all gets swept under the rug when someone does something you don't approve of, right?
Cuz...
We're all...
Supposed to be...
Perfect??
What does that even mean, anyway?
Perfect in what?
Perfectly following the prophet's advice, apparently.
Which, I suppose, I'm *shockingly enough* not doing adequately.
For you.
Guarantee, though...
I met one of those men?
They'd love me to pieces. =)
Cuz I don't hide my flaws.
And I take accountability for them.
And I work to improve strength in my personal weaknesses.
And I keep believing in Christ as my Atoning One, no matter what.
And I keep reading/studying the words of those men, past & present.
And I keep finding new ways to apply those words/principles in my life.
And I keep trusting in my Father.
That He KNOWS ALL.
And LOVES ALL.
And will work ALL to good.
Has, in fact, ALREADY done so.
And I just happen to see His hand in things a li'l bit sooner than the average bear.
So.
Y'all can judge me 'til the cows come home...
But...
Yo' missin' out on a pretty magnificent view.
Of those very same cows...
Meandering on through the most lushly verdant valley...
Surrounded by the most glorious peaks...
Heated by the brightest rays of sunshine there ever was, or will be.
Ciao! =)
