I SERIOUSLY cannot EXPRESS my JOY! *But, obviously, I am attempting to anyway!!! ;)*
Woo-freakin'-hoo!!!!!!!!!! =))))))) Yay, yippee!!! =)))
I AM PUMPED!!! =))))) It has BEGUN!!! =))))))
Woohoo! Woohoo!!! Woohoo! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just set up the BEGINNING FOUNDATION of my NPO!!!
A Brilliant Non-Profit Organization, that's right! =)
How freakin' AWESOME is THAT??!!???!!?
Pretty darn.
Yep, feelin' good, folks...
Feelin' like the world's changin' while you're all (hopefully, that is, as I'D really like to be) sleepin'!!! =)
I want to share more, but MUST attempt (again!) to go to sleep...
Seriously.
Hope you're all doing fabulously, marvelously, well! =)
Praying that WE EACH follow the dreams we've long held &
BLOW THE ROOF OFF THIS CRAPPY WORLD!!!
Let's show 'em GOOOOOOOOOD, ladies & gents! =)
Let's shine the light on all the garbage & say,
"Hey... Shall we take it out?
Cuz I don't wanna wallow in it anymore..."
Let's shimmy & boogy in gear &
GET THIS PARTY STARTED!
It's TIME.
TIME to CHANGE.
TIME to ACT.
TIME to BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)))
Who we REALLY are.
And I don't care what "reality" says:
(Penniless? Me?! Again? Nope, no-sirree!)
I AM a singer/songwriter/author/public speaker/
fabulous philanthropist/ freakin' awesome chick(!)
THAT'S GONNA MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE!!!
Hmm, hm. That's right. You heard it here first.
Not Oprah.
From ME.
I AM AMAZING AND
WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THIS STINKIN' WORLD
ANYMORE!
I will CHANGE it!!!!!!!!!
(As I've always done...) One person at a time.
One smile, hug, financial donation, whatever, at. a. freakin'. time.
Love you all, prayin' my guts out for ya,
*Going to sleep now,*
Ang ;)
11 November, 2009
13 October, 2009
Have Sooo Much To Share!
Have just joined Facebook... Aaaauuuggghhhh!
It's already torturously consuming... How does everyone do it?!?
Email, Blogging, & now Facebook? I hope y'all cut me some slack, & realize that I'll probably never be truly accomplished with any of them, now that I'm attempting them all!!!
K, now, I've wanted to get on & blog at least four times in the last two weeks, but honestly have not had time... And still, technically, don't/shouldn't considering the fact that it's 4:34am... =) <- That is a sheepish-yet-aiming-for-innocence grin. =))) So, here's a blip of updates that I wanted to expound upon, but cannot, so I'll sum up: *I got THE most fabulous hair-cut the other week!!! We should all give my friend Robin a round of applause for the amazing job she did on my hair! =) A lady had butchered it a few weeks before (I was quite upset by the whole thing) & Robin saved the day (& my pride) by spending hours snipping artistically away...
Until a masterpiece emerged! =)))
I have, officially, found the Stylist (I've been searching for for ages), & couldn't be more pleased! =)
*I've been gifted with a flight that has thrilled me beyond pieces... To spend some time with my youngest daughter. Isn't that magnificent? God loves me. =) She is being sealed, for all time & eternity, to her marvelous parents, & I get to be there for it! =))) Words cannot express &, though there are assuredly mixed emotions, I am incredibly grateful for the event... And that I will be a part of their experiencing eternity together.
*Additionally, I was invited to speak at an Adoption conference (which has actually already occurred) & that pleased me quite a bit, as well. =) It went well, though, again, mixed emotions were rampant, & I pray I'll receive the opportunity again & again. The more that is expressed regarding positive adoptive experiences, the better. (Especially to young teenage ladies! 9 months, some body changes, & some iron-will later & there's an entire life, family, & community gifted!!! Much easier to live with than an abortion...Yet there aren't enough voices out there expressing such simple truths, especially not from personal experience!)
I'll speak for any adoption agency that asks me to!!!
*Elizabeth & I made a communication break-through, last week, that has warmed my soul... =) I adore that brilliant child of mine, but she's truly been struggling with her anger lately, & (rightfully so, but still) it has been, um, difficult for us to communicate effectively. The other weekend we broke through some barriers & had the most marvelous conversations!!! I am super-excited about it!! Now I only pray that we'll continue doing so, for I worry about her... She's hurting so much, from all the changes & past trauma, & I long to see her release all those weights, you know? She actually smiled, laughed, giggled, & glowed that beautiful day... And it shocked me to realize how long it had been since I'd seen her so care-free. (Please pray for my beautiful sweetheart, whenever you think of her, K? She needs every pinch of love & help she can get... We need miracles of healing here, folks... Miracles of healing, that only faith & time will provide.)
*I learned to sew a bit!!! =))) And feel very accomplished, quite frankly! =) It's a messy li'l joke of a blanket, but she's a baby so she won't care, right?! (This is why, I discovered, when you're learning to sew you practice on a bunch of scrap stuff first, preferably in 7th grade, before you put sewing machine to sentimentally valuable cloth!!!!!!! Ah, well, as she grows, & gets to know me, it must gain value for her... As she comes to realize what a sacrifice it was for me to hand over such a crappy piece of handiwork simply because I promised I'd have it done by such & such a date!!!) Besides, it has super-cute ladybugs & butterflies adorning it that surely take the limelight from the stitches! =)
Alrighty! Phew! Well I think that that was pretty impressive summing up! Especially considering the extent to which I originally wanted to share details & help y'all laugh &/or cry over each experience! =))) I am quite pleased with my "succinct-ed-ness"... (LOL, yes, I admit... I am a tad sleep-deprived! =)
Love you all,
Miss most of you terribly (as I do not get to visit enough of you!),
Praying we all keep "hangin' in there" & enjoying as much as we can, as often as we can, while keeping as much faith as we can,
Angelina
It's already torturously consuming... How does everyone do it?!?
Email, Blogging, & now Facebook? I hope y'all cut me some slack, & realize that I'll probably never be truly accomplished with any of them, now that I'm attempting them all!!!
K, now, I've wanted to get on & blog at least four times in the last two weeks, but honestly have not had time... And still, technically, don't/shouldn't considering the fact that it's 4:34am... =) <- That is a sheepish-yet-aiming-for-innocence grin. =))) So, here's a blip of updates that I wanted to expound upon, but cannot, so I'll sum up: *I got THE most fabulous hair-cut the other week!!! We should all give my friend Robin a round of applause for the amazing job she did on my hair! =) A lady had butchered it a few weeks before (I was quite upset by the whole thing) & Robin saved the day (& my pride) by spending hours snipping artistically away...
Until a masterpiece emerged! =)))
I have, officially, found the Stylist (I've been searching for for ages), & couldn't be more pleased! =)
*I've been gifted with a flight that has thrilled me beyond pieces... To spend some time with my youngest daughter. Isn't that magnificent? God loves me. =) She is being sealed, for all time & eternity, to her marvelous parents, & I get to be there for it! =))) Words cannot express &, though there are assuredly mixed emotions, I am incredibly grateful for the event... And that I will be a part of their experiencing eternity together.
*Additionally, I was invited to speak at an Adoption conference (which has actually already occurred) & that pleased me quite a bit, as well. =) It went well, though, again, mixed emotions were rampant, & I pray I'll receive the opportunity again & again. The more that is expressed regarding positive adoptive experiences, the better. (Especially to young teenage ladies! 9 months, some body changes, & some iron-will later & there's an entire life, family, & community gifted!!! Much easier to live with than an abortion...
I'll speak for any adoption agency that asks me to!!!
*Elizabeth & I made a communication break-through, last week, that has warmed my soul... =) I adore that brilliant child of mine, but she's truly been struggling with her anger lately, & (rightfully so, but still) it has been, um, difficult for us to communicate effectively. The other weekend we broke through some barriers & had the most marvelous conversations!!! I am super-excited about it!! Now I only pray that we'll continue doing so, for I worry about her... She's hurting so much, from all the changes & past trauma, & I long to see her release all those weights, you know? She actually smiled, laughed, giggled, & glowed that beautiful day... And it shocked me to realize how long it had been since I'd seen her so care-free. (Please pray for my beautiful sweetheart, whenever you think of her, K? She needs every pinch of love & help she can get... We need miracles of healing here, folks... Miracles of healing, that only faith & time will provide.)
*I learned to sew a bit!!! =))) And feel very accomplished, quite frankly! =) It's a messy li'l joke of a blanket, but she's a baby so she won't care, right?! (This is why, I discovered, when you're learning to sew you practice on a bunch of scrap stuff first, preferably in 7th grade, before you put sewing machine to sentimentally valuable cloth!!!!!!! Ah, well, as she grows, & gets to know me, it must gain value for her... As she comes to realize what a sacrifice it was for me to hand over such a crappy piece of handiwork simply because I promised I'd have it done by such & such a date!!!) Besides, it has super-cute ladybugs & butterflies adorning it that surely take the limelight from the stitches! =)
Alrighty! Phew! Well I think that that was pretty impressive summing up! Especially considering the extent to which I originally wanted to share details & help y'all laugh &/or cry over each experience! =))) I am quite pleased with my "succinct-ed-ness"... (LOL, yes, I admit... I am a tad sleep-deprived! =)
Love you all,
Miss most of you terribly (as I do not get to visit enough of you!),
Praying we all keep "hangin' in there" & enjoying as much as we can, as often as we can, while keeping as much faith as we can,
Angelina
17 September, 2009
Wow, Sleep Deprivation!
Yeah, okay, SORRY to any & all that read the ACCIDENTAL post that I had up for the last 48 hours!!! I sooooooooo did NOT mean for it to even be posted!!! Not sure how it happened, actually... I know I was super-sleep-deprived, but WOW! I got on my other blog & then, somehow, I realized I was typing in this one, so I got out & more thoughtfully put in my email address & password... And continued posting where I'd originally intended, thinking I'd get back to this blog & post something else entirely, you know? But, apparently, sleep deprivation altered my thoughts... Cuz I forgot entirely about the beginning of my late-night-blogging-oops & proceeded to go to sleep. (I think =)
Sooo, my dear li'l friend, Shantelle, called me a bit ago, asking if everything was okay with my kids...
Cuz my blog said they were missing!!!
Oopsies! =) <- (That is a verrrry sheepish, apologetic grin. Yep. =) Double Oopsies! =) <- (Yet another sheepish grin! =) K, so, really, everything's fine... No worries, at least not regarding my babies' safety!! =) And, since now I've needed to mention it, I should give you the other blogsite, eh? I just wanted it to be kinda personal, I guess, & it's new, so I wasn't going to mention it... Well, I'll share it, but just know that it's, like, a super-sacred-personal thing for me, so NO, I just realized that I don't wanna open it up to anyone & everyone yet... If you really want it,well, email me &, maybe. Cuz I'm not ready for it to be really read yet, you know? It's kinda like a blog just for Li'l A... And perfect strangers, at the moment. =) I know, that sounds weird, but I don't mind if people who don't know me, & probably never will, are reading it. I don't mind at all. But, like I said, I'm just not ready for it to be REALLY read yet... Sorry, &, um, thanks for understanding.?. =)
Anyway, all is well here, for the most part. =)=)=)
I've done some foolish things lately, but I've also done some cool stuff, so it all balances out, right? =)
Foolish: Walked 16 CITY BLOCKS (ugh) in super-cute-&-previously-comfy shoes... THEN turned around & walked those same 16 CITY BLOCKS back!!! Yeah, seemed like a great idea when I started out... =)=)=) Seven blisters later, well, not so much!
(I had to get to the library! I was going stark-raving-mad!!!)
Cool Stuff: Was inspired with idea of young adult novel AND, not only did I start it but, I've set a goal to write every day...
Even if it's only two paragraphs!!! I will finish this book!
And, who knows, maybe I'll get the others done alongside it... Worth hoping for, anyway. =)=)=)
(I'm seriously excited about this one, guys!!! My parents said that it "sucked" them in & they wish they could "keep reading, to find out what it's all about". Yay!!! And it's a young adult book, so I didn't think I'd get that kind of reaction from them, you know? Super-cool!!!)
K, so, I actually had other things I needed to accomplish, but I dropped eveything to fix this post ASAP, so I'm not going to share more at this moment, K? Relatively soon, though! =)=)=)
Love everybody sooo much!
Ang
Sooo, my dear li'l friend, Shantelle, called me a bit ago, asking if everything was okay with my kids...
Cuz my blog said they were missing!!!
Oopsies! =) <- (That is a verrrry sheepish, apologetic grin. Yep. =) Double Oopsies! =) <- (Yet another sheepish grin! =) K, so, really, everything's fine... No worries, at least not regarding my babies' safety!! =) And, since now I've needed to mention it, I should give you the other blogsite, eh? I just wanted it to be kinda personal, I guess, & it's new, so I wasn't going to mention it... Well, I'll share it, but just know that it's, like, a super-sacred-personal thing for me, so NO, I just realized that I don't wanna open it up to anyone & everyone yet... If you really want it,well, email me &, maybe. Cuz I'm not ready for it to be really read yet, you know? It's kinda like a blog just for Li'l A... And perfect strangers, at the moment. =) I know, that sounds weird, but I don't mind if people who don't know me, & probably never will, are reading it. I don't mind at all. But, like I said, I'm just not ready for it to be REALLY read yet... Sorry, &, um, thanks for understanding.?. =)
Anyway, all is well here, for the most part. =)=)=)
I've done some foolish things lately, but I've also done some cool stuff, so it all balances out, right? =)
Foolish: Walked 16 CITY BLOCKS (ugh) in super-cute-&-previously-comfy shoes... THEN turned around & walked those same 16 CITY BLOCKS back!!! Yeah, seemed like a great idea when I started out... =)=)=) Seven blisters later, well, not so much!
(I had to get to the library! I was going stark-raving-mad!!!)
Cool Stuff: Was inspired with idea of young adult novel AND, not only did I start it but, I've set a goal to write every day...
Even if it's only two paragraphs!!! I will finish this book!
And, who knows, maybe I'll get the others done alongside it... Worth hoping for, anyway. =)=)=)
(I'm seriously excited about this one, guys!!! My parents said that it "sucked" them in & they wish they could "keep reading, to find out what it's all about". Yay!!! And it's a young adult book, so I didn't think I'd get that kind of reaction from them, you know? Super-cool!!!)
K, so, I actually had other things I needed to accomplish, but I dropped eveything to fix this post ASAP, so I'm not going to share more at this moment, K? Relatively soon, though! =)=)=)
Love everybody sooo much!
Ang
10 September, 2009
More Harmony Possible.
Wow, can I just shout it from the mountain-tops?!?!?!
Women Are Wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, folks, what women can do, when we're all more aware of our individual purposes, is simply amazing!!!
THE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)=)=)=)=)
I just got back from a special women's gathering/retreat & I cannot stop talking about it! =) I could blog for days, just on my experiences/realizations during the trip, but I won't. =)
I'll just tell you this:
Women are capable of accomplishing MUCH, MUCH MORE than has been believed, thus far.
I spent the entire Labor Day weekend with 17 women & 3 li'l ones. In one home... With one kitchen... And (thankfully) three bathrooms. Shockingly enough, contrary to modern-day belief, we all got along fabulously!!! =)=)=)
Didja catch that?! SEVENTEEN WOMEN GOT ALONG WELL...
IN ONE KITCHEN... FOR 4 DAYS!!!
There were some less than ideal moments of disorganization & stress, but we rallied quickly & accomplished all that we'd set out to accomplish... It was magnificent.
When we ALLOW OURSELVES to BE TRUE TO the wonderful, intuitive, caring, women THAT WE NATURALLY ARE... Wow!!!
The cooperation was awe-inspiring! The lack of condescension & judgment was astounding! The compassion & empathy that each possessed & distributed freely was out-of-this-world...
And I'm not okay with that!!! Cuz it's time for it to be IN this world. Don'tcha think?! =)=)
Watch out, world, here we come! =)=)=)
We've set goals, & we're gonna achieve them!
We're aimimg for a better world, folks. It's time to truly "love your neighbors as yourselves"!!! (Which means a whole lot more pure love going around, cuz the way most are "loving" themselves nowadays is simply destructive & debilitating, but I digress...)
It's time for MORE HARMONY, cuz it's definitely, DEFINITELY, definitely, definitely...
POSSIBLE.
Women Are Wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, folks, what women can do, when we're all more aware of our individual purposes, is simply amazing!!!
THE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)=)=)=)=)
I just got back from a special women's gathering/retreat & I cannot stop talking about it! =) I could blog for days, just on my experiences/realizations during the trip, but I won't. =)
I'll just tell you this:
Women are capable of accomplishing MUCH, MUCH MORE than has been believed, thus far.
I spent the entire Labor Day weekend with 17 women & 3 li'l ones. In one home... With one kitchen... And (thankfully) three bathrooms. Shockingly enough, contrary to modern-day belief, we all got along fabulously!!! =)=)=)
Didja catch that?! SEVENTEEN WOMEN GOT ALONG WELL...
IN ONE KITCHEN... FOR 4 DAYS!!!
There were some less than ideal moments of disorganization & stress, but we rallied quickly & accomplished all that we'd set out to accomplish... It was magnificent.
When we ALLOW OURSELVES to BE TRUE TO the wonderful, intuitive, caring, women THAT WE NATURALLY ARE... Wow!!!
The cooperation was awe-inspiring! The lack of condescension & judgment was astounding! The compassion & empathy that each possessed & distributed freely was out-of-this-world...
And I'm not okay with that!!! Cuz it's time for it to be IN this world. Don'tcha think?! =)=)
Watch out, world, here we come! =)=)=)
We've set goals, & we're gonna achieve them!
We're aimimg for a better world, folks. It's time to truly "love your neighbors as yourselves"!!! (Which means a whole lot more pure love going around, cuz the way most are "loving" themselves nowadays is simply destructive & debilitating, but I digress...)
It's time for MORE HARMONY, cuz it's definitely, DEFINITELY, definitely, definitely...
POSSIBLE.
29 August, 2009
Yay, I'm Getting Hooked Up!!!
(Oh, that is sooo funny! LOL! So many possible meanings!)
Alrighty, are you ready for some fabulous news? Yeah? Me, too...
I will have the internet next week!!!
Now isn't that just grand?! I can barely contain my excitement, as I sit amongst my librarian friends, all awaiting ever-so-patiently (hah!) their turn for an available computer... LOL! It's the small and simple pleasures, folks, that's what it's all about! =) Gratitude for the littlest things. =)=)=)
Take my sitting here, for example! I have a new friend, that goes out of town every so often, who finds it helpful to her if I zip around in her car while she's away... (I save up all my errands, just to help her out. LOL! =) What are good friends for?)
Anyway, I'll be posting more often... Guaranteed. =)
And that is fabulous news!
Sooo... Mini update:
(We're all doing quite well, especially when one considers everything... I'm continuously amazed by God's healing power...)
>Zeke's talking up a storm & helping everyone around him laugh regularly. (Ex: "Zeke, say 'I'm a stallion!'" & what comes out of his mouth sounds exactly like, "I'm Italian!!!" Hilarious!),
>Karlianne has started Kindergarten & says she's "already getting used to" her teacher & has made "6 new friends",
>Elizabeth's 3rd grade class has so generously provided friends AND a crush, although E is concerned her teacher will be strict,
>Li'l A & her momma have sent matching bracelets for E & K & I, along with a healthy & cute picture of Li'l A wearing hers,
>And I am enjoying my proud new ownership of a Snow Corn snake (my li'l sis gave me), Xona, for whom I must dash away from the library now & go get her a cute little mouse...
To swallow whole. (Sorry for offending any of your sensitive, mouse-loving natures! =)
Love you all, miss you all,
Pray You're Counting & Enjoying Simple Blessings,
Angelina
Alrighty, are you ready for some fabulous news? Yeah? Me, too...
I will have the internet next week!!!
Now isn't that just grand?! I can barely contain my excitement, as I sit amongst my librarian friends, all awaiting ever-so-patiently (hah!) their turn for an available computer... LOL! It's the small and simple pleasures, folks, that's what it's all about! =) Gratitude for the littlest things. =)=)=)
Take my sitting here, for example! I have a new friend, that goes out of town every so often, who finds it helpful to her if I zip around in her car while she's away... (I save up all my errands, just to help her out. LOL! =) What are good friends for?)
Anyway, I'll be posting more often... Guaranteed. =)
And that is fabulous news!
Sooo... Mini update:
(We're all doing quite well, especially when one considers everything... I'm continuously amazed by God's healing power...)
>Zeke's talking up a storm & helping everyone around him laugh regularly. (Ex: "Zeke, say 'I'm a stallion!'" & what comes out of his mouth sounds exactly like, "I'm Italian!!!" Hilarious!),
>Karlianne has started Kindergarten & says she's "already getting used to" her teacher & has made "6 new friends",
>Elizabeth's 3rd grade class has so generously provided friends AND a crush, although E is concerned her teacher will be strict,
>Li'l A & her momma have sent matching bracelets for E & K & I, along with a healthy & cute picture of Li'l A wearing hers,
>And I am enjoying my proud new ownership of a Snow Corn snake (my li'l sis gave me), Xona, for whom I must dash away from the library now & go get her a cute little mouse...
To swallow whole. (Sorry for offending any of your sensitive, mouse-loving natures! =)
Love you all, miss you all,
Pray You're Counting & Enjoying Simple Blessings,
Angelina
31 July, 2009
Life is Good, Regardless!
Sooo... I've been away from the internet longer than I'd anticipated... (Surprised that I didn't calculate the timing well? Nooo? Neither am I! =)
But all is well, I promise!
Yeah, I'm jobless, car-less, penniless, internet-less, (was furniture-less until last week!), but SO WHAT!!!
I am the wealthiest woman alive! =)=)=)
My time with my children is well spent, & enjoyed...
My friends love me, & I know they'll always be there for me!
I have my own apartment, air-conditioning, & furniture!!!
(All miracles, of course! =)
And I will have a job, a car, & some serious pennies one o' these days soon, guaranteed!!!
(Miracles abound for those that keep expecting them! =)
Seriously... I am truly happy, & getting more settled every day.
Don't get me wrong, I still have difficult days... But I'm struggling fabulously, so those days never last long. =) I LOOOOVE LIFE!!! =)
K, the library "Session Information" is informing me that I don't have time to type much more, before it kicks me off, so... Sianara! (I actually have no clue how to spell that, so if it's wrong... Oh, well! You get the general idea! =)
Love you all soooooooooooooooooo much,
Praying that life is good for you, regardless of WHATEVER!
Angelina
But all is well, I promise!
Yeah, I'm jobless, car-less, penniless, internet-less, (was furniture-less until last week!), but SO WHAT!!!
I am the wealthiest woman alive! =)=)=)
My time with my children is well spent, & enjoyed...
My friends love me, & I know they'll always be there for me!
I have my own apartment, air-conditioning, & furniture!!!
(All miracles, of course! =)
And I will have a job, a car, & some serious pennies one o' these days soon, guaranteed!!!
(Miracles abound for those that keep expecting them! =)
Seriously... I am truly happy, & getting more settled every day.
Don't get me wrong, I still have difficult days... But I'm struggling fabulously, so those days never last long. =) I LOOOOVE LIFE!!! =)
K, the library "Session Information" is informing me that I don't have time to type much more, before it kicks me off, so... Sianara! (I actually have no clue how to spell that, so if it's wrong... Oh, well! You get the general idea! =)
Love you all soooooooooooooooooo much,
Praying that life is good for you, regardless of WHATEVER!
Angelina
14 June, 2009
Just Wanted To Post...
So, I just noticed that that last post says the 19th of May, which is not when I posted it, but it is when I began the post... Weird. Hmmm, well, you learn somethin' new every day! =)
Yeah, I really don't know what to say, but I want to post something today cuz I know I'll be pretty occupied over the next few weeks, & may not get to it again for a while... Besides, we all know I can always find something to say, eh? =)=)=)
My life has really sped up! So much to accomplish in such a short time! I always wanted just a simple life... Ahhh well... 'Tis not to be. ='(
Just kidding, I don't shed tears over it anymore... For I have found great fulfillment in doing the tasks I feel God leading me towards.
Honestly, the road travelled to reach this point has been rough (to say the least), but it's so clear & fun now!!!
I WRITE INSPIRING SONGS!!! (Ten finished now, & I haven't counted how many I have in various unfinished forms!)
Can you believe it?!!
I'VE FINALLY STARTED A BOOK!!! (Took me long enough, don't you think?!) And I know I'll follow through with this one! =)=)=)
I'm doing what I know I need to be... No more allowing fear of my own inadequacies to hold me back. I have no idea what it'll all look like, how it will play out, but that's okay. =) I finally feel up to the task, capable. And it's fabulous AND, did I mention, FUN!
Is there something you've felt led to do, but haven't, for the same reasons as I? Whatever it takes to push through to the side of accomplishing some good goal or dream that God has placed in your heart, no matter how impossible or grandiose it may seem...
It is worth it! He will provide a way!!! Guaranteed!
Sometimes we are our only obstacles.
K, so... My new, precious li'l one is doing fabulously... I talk to her parents as often as possible, which isn't nearly enough to suit, but life is a bit too full for talking as much as we'd desire! =) So, she's gaining well, sleeping good 4-5 hour chunks at night, & has had minimal gassy days. =)=)=)
(And her daddy thanked me recently for making such a cute baby so, in addition to all that, she must still be as adorable as ever! =)
Elizabeth is doing well... I love her wise, old-fashioned soul! She posited a request the other day that seven-year-olds generally don't desire: "Mommy, I've been thinking... Can we take one month out of the year & go without driving & watching t.v. & only eat our produce from the garden?" Some kid, eh? =) I said, "Sweetheart, where'd you get that idea from?" and she replied, "I don't know, Mommy, I was just thinking it'd be a good idea." And I agree, "I don't know when we'll be able to, but we will do that very thing, sweetie, cuz you're right, it's a very good idea... We should know how to get along without those things, shouldn't we? Just in case..." Love her! =)=)=)
Karlianne is as sweet as can be, to me, though she's using her physical tendencies lately to be a bit of a bully... We're gonna work on that! =) She gets so excited about swimming & playing with her friends... Just listening to her tumble her words out in her enjoyment would bring a smile to anyone's face, but I'm the privileged one that receives that joy. =) I wonder how kindergarten next year will feel to her... A restriction? Or just a different form of play-time? We'll see, for that time is right around the corner! Can't believe how time flies!!! I'm so glad to have & love my li'l soon-to-be-kindergartener! =)=)=)
Zeke is growing up faster than I'd like (never thought I'd say that), & is such a big boy now!!! Whenever anyone sees him that's the second thing they say to me, "He is such a big boy! Gonna be a big guy, like his daddy!" or some such thing. =) The first thing is always, "Oh, my, he is sooo cute, Ang, seriously! He's just adorable!" or some similar refrain. =) And they're absolutely right, for even I never cease to be amazed by his charm & beauty... LOL! =)=)=) He's talking up a storm, as well, & I relish each word I hear him speak! What a joy children are! =)=)=)
Well, I believe I've adequately completed what I set out to do: Posted something! Yay! Mission accomplished! =)
See ya when I see ya,
Praying we all continue moving towards our good dreams & goals, and find joy in each moment we have with our children, no matter how much time, or how little, we are able to spend with them,
Loving Every Piece of Joy Available,
Angelina
Yeah, I really don't know what to say, but I want to post something today cuz I know I'll be pretty occupied over the next few weeks, & may not get to it again for a while... Besides, we all know I can always find something to say, eh? =)=)=)
My life has really sped up! So much to accomplish in such a short time! I always wanted just a simple life... Ahhh well... 'Tis not to be. ='(
Just kidding, I don't shed tears over it anymore... For I have found great fulfillment in doing the tasks I feel God leading me towards.
Honestly, the road travelled to reach this point has been rough (to say the least), but it's so clear & fun now!!!
I WRITE INSPIRING SONGS!!! (Ten finished now, & I haven't counted how many I have in various unfinished forms!)
Can you believe it?!!
I'VE FINALLY STARTED A BOOK!!! (Took me long enough, don't you think?!) And I know I'll follow through with this one! =)=)=)
I'm doing what I know I need to be... No more allowing fear of my own inadequacies to hold me back. I have no idea what it'll all look like, how it will play out, but that's okay. =) I finally feel up to the task, capable. And it's fabulous AND, did I mention, FUN!
Is there something you've felt led to do, but haven't, for the same reasons as I? Whatever it takes to push through to the side of accomplishing some good goal or dream that God has placed in your heart, no matter how impossible or grandiose it may seem...
It is worth it! He will provide a way!!! Guaranteed!
Sometimes we are our only obstacles.
K, so... My new, precious li'l one is doing fabulously... I talk to her parents as often as possible, which isn't nearly enough to suit, but life is a bit too full for talking as much as we'd desire! =) So, she's gaining well, sleeping good 4-5 hour chunks at night, & has had minimal gassy days. =)=)=)
(And her daddy thanked me recently for making such a cute baby so, in addition to all that, she must still be as adorable as ever! =)
Elizabeth is doing well... I love her wise, old-fashioned soul! She posited a request the other day that seven-year-olds generally don't desire: "Mommy, I've been thinking... Can we take one month out of the year & go without driving & watching t.v. & only eat our produce from the garden?" Some kid, eh? =) I said, "Sweetheart, where'd you get that idea from?" and she replied, "I don't know, Mommy, I was just thinking it'd be a good idea." And I agree, "I don't know when we'll be able to, but we will do that very thing, sweetie, cuz you're right, it's a very good idea... We should know how to get along without those things, shouldn't we? Just in case..." Love her! =)=)=)
Karlianne is as sweet as can be, to me, though she's using her physical tendencies lately to be a bit of a bully... We're gonna work on that! =) She gets so excited about swimming & playing with her friends... Just listening to her tumble her words out in her enjoyment would bring a smile to anyone's face, but I'm the privileged one that receives that joy. =) I wonder how kindergarten next year will feel to her... A restriction? Or just a different form of play-time? We'll see, for that time is right around the corner! Can't believe how time flies!!! I'm so glad to have & love my li'l soon-to-be-kindergartener! =)=)=)
Zeke is growing up faster than I'd like (never thought I'd say that), & is such a big boy now!!! Whenever anyone sees him that's the second thing they say to me, "He is such a big boy! Gonna be a big guy, like his daddy!" or some such thing. =) The first thing is always, "Oh, my, he is sooo cute, Ang, seriously! He's just adorable!" or some similar refrain. =) And they're absolutely right, for even I never cease to be amazed by his charm & beauty... LOL! =)=)=) He's talking up a storm, as well, & I relish each word I hear him speak! What a joy children are! =)=)=)
Well, I believe I've adequately completed what I set out to do: Posted something! Yay! Mission accomplished! =)
See ya when I see ya,
Praying we all continue moving towards our good dreams & goals, and find joy in each moment we have with our children, no matter how much time, or how little, we are able to spend with them,
Loving Every Piece of Joy Available,
Angelina
19 May, 2009
Truly Unique Experience...
She's here... She's perfect... Just like the others... But different. (Gotta love it!=)
I'm thrilled to have carried, & introduced into this world, such a sweet, gentle, yet amazingly strong li'l girl... What a joy! Each of us, that have been privileged to meet her thus far, have agreed that the term "Gentle Strength" comes to mind when in her presence. She is truly powerfully good, & I have been undeniably blessed by her inhabitance within my life.
She was born after 3 hours & 20 minutes of (extremely) intense labor, did not exhaust me to the necessity of any medicinal aid, delivered after only 10 pushes (!!!), AND allowed for my body to heal seamlessly! =)=)=) What a gift she & God gave me!!! =)=)=)
She was 7lbs. 6oz. & 20 1/2 in. long! Healthy & slightly chubby, just the way we like 'em. =) Long, dark hair (surprised me!) with a perfect complexion & beautiful features (did not surprise me! =), the softest skin imaginable, and all those cute li'l fingers & toes!!! =)
She hardly cried a bit... The entire 2 1/2 days she was in the hospital no single person heard her cry more than a couple times! She's simply unflappable! =) Marvelously dispositioned all the way around... A gift to the entire world, this one will be... Calming down, cheering up, & influencing for good everyone she meets. =) Yay, Princess Beauty!!!
*For those of you who haven't been privy to the courses of action that I've needed to take on these past months, since Christmas, well... I'm sorry that I haven't had the opportunity to talk with you, but I'm about to share a portion of it all & I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, & prepare yourself... K?
It may be a rough ride...
So, in my sharing of the details of her precious, precious, precious spirit & form, you can semi-sorta-kinda-maybe a little tiny bit-possibly-but probably not-but it'd be nice if you tried anyway-imagine how excrutiatingly difficult (understatement of the century) it was to sign her over to another couple of parents.
Yep. You read correctly.
She is no longer mine... Not my child to raise!!!
She will be raised within another family's circle, under another mother's watchful eye, within the arms of a safe daddy...
At times, I cannot even believe that this is my reality... But it is. And, yes, there is inherent pain. (Which is truly indescribable, so I'm not even going to waste my time trying...) But there is also peace, comfort, & joy beyond measure...
Heavenly Father has, in every sincerity, laid out such clear guidance & direction, throughout this entire experience, that there is no doubt whatsoever over this decision... He helped me through the beginning of the process (when I was like, "Are you freakin' kidding me? You want me to WHAT?!?!?! NEVVVER!!!!!) all the way beyond the signing of the papers (meaning He's still helping me through the healing process, when I feel at times, "Are you freakin' kidding me? I'm supposed to just GO ON?!?" And He gently says,"Yes, hon, and it's going to be better than okay... You know she's in the right place... Breathe, trust..." & so somehow, well, I do as He says... And there's peace beyond comprehension). I could NEVER have done this without Him, in all His miraculously mind-boggling mercy, piloting my way!
I AM SOOO GRATEFUL!!! His grace is truly sufficient in any & all circumstances!!! I never even came close to imagining that I could come to this point in this whole process... I fought & struggled against it, with all my momma lioness qualities, but I have learned throughout my life to trust in Him above & beyond it all, so...
I have.
I long to share more, but it's already taken me so long to get this much to you & I feel I must post this tonight. (I know I foolishly said I'd post immediately upon return from the hospital, but I've been on an essential & amazing healing experience... One which, I'm sure you would agree, took priority over updating the blog. =)
I love you all sooo much & I pray this news reaches you with at least a small portion of the peace, comfort, & joy that I've felt, & tried to express... Enough so that my sharing this by no means causes any anguish. (Trust me, I've already been through that... Enough for all of us! No need for you to feel it! =)
She is absolutely, without a doubt, in the most loving, safe place I've ever known! Designed for her by her loving, keenly aware, Father in Heaven. I love her family more than words could ever express! God has given her parents that are truly worthy of her as a gift to them... And it is a truly, marvelously indescribable event that has taken place, in all our hearts, to be a part in this particular adoption process. (So, yet again, I will not attempt to describe it... You'll just have to take my word for it. =)=)=)
I pray all are "feelin' the love" =), coming closer to understanding how utterly & unendingly God loves us all, & using the Atonement to work through even the most excrutiating events,
Truly At Peace,
Loving You Always,
Angelina
I'm thrilled to have carried, & introduced into this world, such a sweet, gentle, yet amazingly strong li'l girl... What a joy! Each of us, that have been privileged to meet her thus far, have agreed that the term "Gentle Strength" comes to mind when in her presence. She is truly powerfully good, & I have been undeniably blessed by her inhabitance within my life.
She was born after 3 hours & 20 minutes of (extremely) intense labor, did not exhaust me to the necessity of any medicinal aid, delivered after only 10 pushes (!!!), AND allowed for my body to heal seamlessly! =)=)=) What a gift she & God gave me!!! =)=)=)
She was 7lbs. 6oz. & 20 1/2 in. long! Healthy & slightly chubby, just the way we like 'em. =) Long, dark hair (surprised me!) with a perfect complexion & beautiful features (did not surprise me! =), the softest skin imaginable, and all those cute li'l fingers & toes!!! =)
She hardly cried a bit... The entire 2 1/2 days she was in the hospital no single person heard her cry more than a couple times! She's simply unflappable! =) Marvelously dispositioned all the way around... A gift to the entire world, this one will be... Calming down, cheering up, & influencing for good everyone she meets. =) Yay, Princess Beauty!!!
*For those of you who haven't been privy to the courses of action that I've needed to take on these past months, since Christmas, well... I'm sorry that I haven't had the opportunity to talk with you, but I'm about to share a portion of it all & I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, & prepare yourself... K?
It may be a rough ride...
So, in my sharing of the details of her precious, precious, precious spirit & form, you can semi-sorta-kinda-maybe a little tiny bit-possibly-but probably not-but it'd be nice if you tried anyway-imagine how excrutiatingly difficult (understatement of the century) it was to sign her over to another couple of parents.
Yep. You read correctly.
She is no longer mine... Not my child to raise!!!
She will be raised within another family's circle, under another mother's watchful eye, within the arms of a safe daddy...
At times, I cannot even believe that this is my reality... But it is. And, yes, there is inherent pain. (Which is truly indescribable, so I'm not even going to waste my time trying...) But there is also peace, comfort, & joy beyond measure...
Heavenly Father has, in every sincerity, laid out such clear guidance & direction, throughout this entire experience, that there is no doubt whatsoever over this decision... He helped me through the beginning of the process (when I was like, "Are you freakin' kidding me? You want me to WHAT?!?!?! NEVVVER!!!!!) all the way beyond the signing of the papers (meaning He's still helping me through the healing process, when I feel at times, "Are you freakin' kidding me? I'm supposed to just GO ON?!?" And He gently says,"Yes, hon, and it's going to be better than okay... You know she's in the right place... Breathe, trust..." & so somehow, well, I do as He says... And there's peace beyond comprehension). I could NEVER have done this without Him, in all His miraculously mind-boggling mercy, piloting my way!
I AM SOOO GRATEFUL!!! His grace is truly sufficient in any & all circumstances!!! I never even came close to imagining that I could come to this point in this whole process... I fought & struggled against it, with all my momma lioness qualities, but I have learned throughout my life to trust in Him above & beyond it all, so...
I have.
I long to share more, but it's already taken me so long to get this much to you & I feel I must post this tonight. (I know I foolishly said I'd post immediately upon return from the hospital, but I've been on an essential & amazing healing experience... One which, I'm sure you would agree, took priority over updating the blog. =)
I love you all sooo much & I pray this news reaches you with at least a small portion of the peace, comfort, & joy that I've felt, & tried to express... Enough so that my sharing this by no means causes any anguish. (Trust me, I've already been through that... Enough for all of us! No need for you to feel it! =)
She is absolutely, without a doubt, in the most loving, safe place I've ever known! Designed for her by her loving, keenly aware, Father in Heaven. I love her family more than words could ever express! God has given her parents that are truly worthy of her as a gift to them... And it is a truly, marvelously indescribable event that has taken place, in all our hearts, to be a part in this particular adoption process. (So, yet again, I will not attempt to describe it... You'll just have to take my word for it. =)=)=)
I pray all are "feelin' the love" =), coming closer to understanding how utterly & unendingly God loves us all, & using the Atonement to work through even the most excrutiating events,
Truly At Peace,
Loving You Always,
Angelina
20 April, 2009
Sorry... Just Sooo Exhausted!
Truly... I may have never felt so tired in my life...
(Well, more tired, anyway. =)=)=)
Seriously though, this little lady's got just a few more weeks 'til she pops out... And she's usin' all the steam I got! Phew!
I'm sleepin' every chance I get & that's not nearly often enough!!!
I'd like to say that I'll be better about blogging over the next few weeks, than I have been the last few, but it's highly unlikely... I do intend to be better with it a few weeks after she's born, though! =) And I will definitely throw a short post in immediately after returning from the hospital, K? =)
Something fabulously informative. =)=)=)
Other than falling asleep every 30 minutes, I'm doing rather well...
I've written another song. =) And have also accomplished many "healing goals" that I'd set for myself. =) All in all, I'm quite pleased with my progress as of late. =)
Love you all kabillions,
Praying that we all take the time to rest & heal, no matter how big or small the deal is,
Angelina
(Well, more tired, anyway. =)=)=)
Seriously though, this little lady's got just a few more weeks 'til she pops out... And she's usin' all the steam I got! Phew!
I'm sleepin' every chance I get & that's not nearly often enough!!!
I'd like to say that I'll be better about blogging over the next few weeks, than I have been the last few, but it's highly unlikely... I do intend to be better with it a few weeks after she's born, though! =) And I will definitely throw a short post in immediately after returning from the hospital, K? =)
Something fabulously informative. =)=)=)
Other than falling asleep every 30 minutes, I'm doing rather well...
I've written another song. =) And have also accomplished many "healing goals" that I'd set for myself. =) All in all, I'm quite pleased with my progress as of late. =)
Love you all kabillions,
Praying that we all take the time to rest & heal, no matter how big or small the deal is,
Angelina
11 April, 2009
Wow, It's Been Busy, Lately!
(I was sure that I'd be able to post at least once a week &, admittedly, was quite pleased with the twice-weekly posts I was averaging, but I guess it's just not always gonna be possible! =( And here I thought I was bein' downright reasonable!!! =)
Ahhh, well, just goes to show that we never know what the day/week/month/life will bring! =)
But it's aallll good!!! =)=)=) I've been doing sooo much lately. =) All sorts of things that I've been "meaning to get around to" for years! And I'm rather pleased with all that progress... Even though it kept me from the computer for, what now feels like, ages. =)=)=)
Sooo... you wanna know what one of the things I did is?
Do ya, do ya, do ya?
Cuz IIIIIII wanna tell ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Is it obvious? =)=)=)=)=)=)=)
I WROTE A SONG!!! =) A good one!!!
(Actually, I wrote 2 songs... just over this last week!!!)
Isn't that just marvelously exciting?
Who knew I could do that?! =)
(Okay, I admit, I've prayed for the ability for years, but still!)
I cannot adequately articulate how fabulous it feels to express myself through my own song... I feel verrrry blessed, especially since I'm sure that it's not an innate talent! God has given me a gift of expressing myself through a medium that I've long desired! What joy to finally receive it! I don't even care what happens to the songs (though I do feel the messages will empower other women, & would like to see them "out there"), all I know is this:
I'M GONNA KEEP ON SINGIN' 'EM!!!
It's actually been quite a vulnerable experience for me.
I've been sorely tempted to keep them to myself. And, honestly, there've been times when I didn't even want to sing to the ones that I knew would be my biggest supporters! But I pushed past that horribly insecure feeling... Sang 'em, & just kept on singing! =)
(I've been singing to anyone & everyone who asks me, locally. AND calling a few, here & there, to sing over the phone! It's been an interesting adventure, to say the least. =)
And I've learned a few things... More deeply than ever before...
First, I will not let others' opinions dictate my modes of expression any longer: If I wanna talk... write... sing... dance... draw... whatever... I. WILL. DO. IT.
(Whether it's "music" to YOUR "ears" or not! =)
Second, when God gives me a gift, well, I'm not gonna "sit on it" anymore: I actually wrote my first full song back in 2005, but "didn't know what to do with it" so I just sang it to my kids & a husband or two... (oh, that's funny! Sorry, some may not enjoy that humor, but it's crackin' me up... "a husband or two" Hah! Who'd've ever thought my life'd be this way, eh?) AND THEN when I did something with the song (I recently dedicated it to a particular establishment), well, God gave me another one! =) THEN when I pushed past my uncertainty, the other day, & kept on singing (hence, "did something" with the 2nd song) He gave me another!!! No more "sitting on" God's gifts for this little girl! =)
Third, when something is a wonderful gift to ME, & I share it with others, God can turn it into a gift for them as well! So, I will not forget that my joy can be somebody else's joy & I NEED NOT SQUELCH IT & worry that they'll find me silly! =)=)=)
(If anyone does "find me silly", well, whatever... I reiterate what was stated above regarding others' opinions. And just want to say: Go look for your own joy somewhere else then, I guess.
Cuz I happen to know that just cuz you don't "find joy" in my joy does not make me "silly"!!! My joy happens to be priceless, no matter where it comes from, not silly, that's for sure...)
Fourth, we are all capable of much, much more than we have ever imagined:
Come on now, you know it's true...
(I don't even feel a need to expound on this one. =)=)=)
Pretty fun, eh?
(Songs & lessons & marvelousness for all! =)=)=)
Okay, so, actually, this week was sooooooooo full! (I nearly dropped dead!) I had appointments coming out my ears, grocery shopping that required TWO eight-month-pregnant-waddling-runs-back-to-grab-essential-yet-forgotten-items-all-before-the-lady-could-bag-the-rest-of-my-items-up! experiences (phew! you think it was exhausting reading it... try doing it! =), a myriad of musical performances requested by the masses (oh, I am hilarious, aren't I? =), AND all the while my body kept tryin' to tell me some such (crazy, very ill-timed, if you ask me) nonsense that it was severely exhausted, so I had to keep takin' these "little snoozes" every (practically non-existent) spare moment!!!
(Did I mention I nearly dropped dead?! =)=)=)
K, well, gotta run... =)
Things to do, you know... (Hahaha =)
Love each of you with every single (musical, exhausted, yet joyful) fiber of my being ANNND am fervently,
Praying that you're all endeavoring to accomplish some "dear to your heart" feat (along with all that other daily stuff),
Angelina
Ahhh, well, just goes to show that we never know what the day/week/month/life will bring! =)
But it's aallll good!!! =)=)=) I've been doing sooo much lately. =) All sorts of things that I've been "meaning to get around to" for years! And I'm rather pleased with all that progress... Even though it kept me from the computer for, what now feels like, ages. =)=)=)
Sooo... you wanna know what one of the things I did is?
Do ya, do ya, do ya?
Cuz IIIIIII wanna tell ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Is it obvious? =)=)=)=)=)=)=)
I WROTE A SONG!!! =) A good one!!!
(Actually, I wrote 2 songs... just over this last week!!!)
Isn't that just marvelously exciting?
Who knew I could do that?! =)
(Okay, I admit, I've prayed for the ability for years, but still!)
I cannot adequately articulate how fabulous it feels to express myself through my own song... I feel verrrry blessed, especially since I'm sure that it's not an innate talent! God has given me a gift of expressing myself through a medium that I've long desired! What joy to finally receive it! I don't even care what happens to the songs (though I do feel the messages will empower other women, & would like to see them "out there"), all I know is this:
I'M GONNA KEEP ON SINGIN' 'EM!!!
It's actually been quite a vulnerable experience for me.
I've been sorely tempted to keep them to myself. And, honestly, there've been times when I didn't even want to sing to the ones that I knew would be my biggest supporters! But I pushed past that horribly insecure feeling... Sang 'em, & just kept on singing! =)
(I've been singing to anyone & everyone who asks me, locally. AND calling a few, here & there, to sing over the phone! It's been an interesting adventure, to say the least. =)
And I've learned a few things... More deeply than ever before...
First, I will not let others' opinions dictate my modes of expression any longer: If I wanna talk... write... sing... dance... draw... whatever... I. WILL. DO. IT.
(Whether it's "music" to YOUR "ears" or not! =)
Second, when God gives me a gift, well, I'm not gonna "sit on it" anymore: I actually wrote my first full song back in 2005, but "didn't know what to do with it" so I just sang it to my kids & a husband or two... (oh, that's funny! Sorry, some may not enjoy that humor, but it's crackin' me up... "a husband or two" Hah! Who'd've ever thought my life'd be this way, eh?) AND THEN when I did something with the song (I recently dedicated it to a particular establishment), well, God gave me another one! =) THEN when I pushed past my uncertainty, the other day, & kept on singing (hence, "did something" with the 2nd song) He gave me another!!! No more "sitting on" God's gifts for this little girl! =)
Third, when something is a wonderful gift to ME, & I share it with others, God can turn it into a gift for them as well! So, I will not forget that my joy can be somebody else's joy & I NEED NOT SQUELCH IT & worry that they'll find me silly! =)=)=)
(If anyone does "find me silly", well, whatever... I reiterate what was stated above regarding others' opinions. And just want to say: Go look for your own joy somewhere else then, I guess.
Cuz I happen to know that just cuz you don't "find joy" in my joy does not make me "silly"!!! My joy happens to be priceless, no matter where it comes from, not silly, that's for sure...)
Fourth, we are all capable of much, much more than we have ever imagined:
Come on now, you know it's true...
(I don't even feel a need to expound on this one. =)=)=)
Pretty fun, eh?
(Songs & lessons & marvelousness for all! =)=)=)
Okay, so, actually, this week was sooooooooo full! (I nearly dropped dead!) I had appointments coming out my ears, grocery shopping that required TWO eight-month-pregnant-waddling-runs-back-to-grab-essential-yet-forgotten-items-all-before-the-lady-could-bag-the-rest-of-my-items-up! experiences (phew! you think it was exhausting reading it... try doing it! =), a myriad of musical performances requested by the masses (oh, I am hilarious, aren't I? =), AND all the while my body kept tryin' to tell me some such (crazy, very ill-timed, if you ask me) nonsense that it was severely exhausted, so I had to keep takin' these "little snoozes" every (practically non-existent) spare moment!!!
(Did I mention I nearly dropped dead?! =)=)=)
K, well, gotta run... =)
Things to do, you know... (Hahaha =)
Love each of you with every single (musical, exhausted, yet joyful) fiber of my being ANNND am fervently,
Praying that you're all endeavoring to accomplish some "dear to your heart" feat (along with all that other daily stuff),
Angelina
30 March, 2009
Embracing My Inner Warrior!
Yep, that's right...
I am a Warrior Woman.
I acknowledge, accept, & admit it.
I am now publicly embracing my inner warrior. =)
I never have been able to pull off the whole "wall-flower" thing (believe me, I've tried!) & I've been accused of being a "fighter" for years (to those of you that know me well, that sounds crazy, but to those of you that know me well, you know what I'm referring to), so I've finally come to an understanding of what it's all about.
Sure... Call me a "fighter". I'll be a fighter. I'll be a fighter for good; a fighter against evil; an immovable Warrior Woman who stands for truth NO MATTER WHAT.
Go ahead... Call me "angry". I am angry! Angry about all the injustice out there; angry that we so selfishly & foolishly follow Satan without even paying attention; angry about all the cruel & stupid things we do to each other.
Feel free... Call me "negative". You can view it/me however you wanna... Cuz I talk about the negative a lot. I see it out there, all around us, & I think we all oughtta be aware of it AND SHUN IT! But how can we do that if we IGNORE IT???
So, yeah... I'm all of the above. I admit it... But if all you see is that I'm an angry, negative, fighter, well, you're missing the point... By a looooooong shot. And you can continue feeling that way, that's fine. I've "talked 'til I'm blue in the face" & nothin' seems to help ME be seen (only to some of you, don't worry, I know most of you "see me" clear as can be =), & I've finally come to fully realize that it's your deal, not mine... I refuse to accept responsibility for your erroneous misconceptions of WHO I AM.
But I do now choose to embrace my inner Warrior Woman, & let her free! =)=)=) And I willingly accept responsibility for that! =) Because I define who I am & I am claiming this.
I am waging war against evil. I will fight to the end. I will recognize the negativity out there, in all sizes, shapes, & forms, & I will be angry with it. I will no longer stand still in shock when someone says something spiteful; I will no longer bestow the "benefit of the doubt"! For I do not see any benefit of doubting; I will no longer give ground when fallacy flaunts it's foul form.
I am waging war against evil... And I will combat it even in it's subtle forms... Whether people like it, or not.
I am sick and tired, folks. Sick and tired of the insidious &, oh, so smooooooth way that evil pervades our beautiful lives. I've despised it from the beginning, but I felt powerless to do much about it... That has changed. I have discovered some interesting things about myself... Things I've been saying for years, but never fully comprehended. (Still probably don't, for that matter, but I sure am gettin' closer, eh? =)
And one sentence sums it up: I am a Warrior Woman.
One that wants to see some serious changes in this hell on earth.
One that's going to do ALL in her power to help bring those changes about. (And that power, I'm discovering, ain't nothin' to laugh at.) One that will never, ever give up, or renege.
So... If I've made people, um, shall we say, uncomfortable, in the past... With my inexplicable faith & "stubbornness" in accepting the "not that bigga deal" malignancies here & there, I must truly apologize in advance...
It will probably get even more uncomfortable.
And... For those of you that love these qualities in me, & are thrilled that I'm boldly claiming my Warriorship, well, I must Thank You in advance...
You, with God, are the ones that lifted me to this point, & it's about to get reeeeally fabulous! =)=)=)
Seriously, I am sooo grateful for all my beautiful friends! You have supported me & loved me unconditionally for sooo many years! Where would I be without YOU?!? Not so strong, that's for sure! Not so filled with faith & dedication, that's for sure!
I'd probably still be a confused, depressed little girl, struggling with trusting my own thoughts & everybody elses's opinion about me... What an ugly place that was. Ugh.
Thank you, my dearest sisters (& you few marvelous men out there =), for all the faith in me you've expressed over the years!!! YOU have helped me become WHO I AM. Couldn't have done it without you, each one of you, & that's a fact. So, if you're one who happens to be thrilled that I'm "embracing my inner warrior", well, give yourself a pat on the back!!! Cuz I wouldn't & couldn't be IF NOT FOR THE ESSENTIAL ROLE you've PLAYED IN MY LIFE!
I love you, love you, love you! =)=)=)
So, we'll see where this takes us, shall we? Surely it won't be pleasant & smooth... But I don't care anymore... I will do whatever it takes to root out & eradicate as much evil as possible in this world. I'll not wish for "the simple life" anymore. I'll now embrace the challenges placed before me as opportunities to "fight for right", & if the battleground is rough & ugly... Who cares? And if I stand alone at times... Who cares? And if I lose those I love at times... (Okay, I can't really say "Who cares?" about that one, but I'll try & keep my focus on the fact that I'll know we'll be connected again eventually. So...) I say... Dang it! to losing loved ones.
(Not much left to say after that is there?)
There's so much more in my heart & soul on this particular topic, but I cannot type anymore... Too much goin' on elsewhere that needs to be addressed, you know?
Love you ALL with all my heart (no matter how you view me =),
Prayin' that we'll all see more clearly who we are individually, so that we can more fully stand up & support each other collectively,
Ang
I am a Warrior Woman.
I acknowledge, accept, & admit it.
I am now publicly embracing my inner warrior. =)
I never have been able to pull off the whole "wall-flower" thing (believe me, I've tried!) & I've been accused of being a "fighter" for years (to those of you that know me well, that sounds crazy, but to those of you that know me well, you know what I'm referring to), so I've finally come to an understanding of what it's all about.
Sure... Call me a "fighter". I'll be a fighter. I'll be a fighter for good; a fighter against evil; an immovable Warrior Woman who stands for truth NO MATTER WHAT.
Go ahead... Call me "angry". I am angry! Angry about all the injustice out there; angry that we so selfishly & foolishly follow Satan without even paying attention; angry about all the cruel & stupid things we do to each other.
Feel free... Call me "negative". You can view it/me however you wanna... Cuz I talk about the negative a lot. I see it out there, all around us, & I think we all oughtta be aware of it AND SHUN IT! But how can we do that if we IGNORE IT???
So, yeah... I'm all of the above. I admit it... But if all you see is that I'm an angry, negative, fighter, well, you're missing the point... By a looooooong shot. And you can continue feeling that way, that's fine. I've "talked 'til I'm blue in the face" & nothin' seems to help ME be seen (only to some of you, don't worry, I know most of you "see me" clear as can be =), & I've finally come to fully realize that it's your deal, not mine... I refuse to accept responsibility for your erroneous misconceptions of WHO I AM.
But I do now choose to embrace my inner Warrior Woman, & let her free! =)=)=) And I willingly accept responsibility for that! =) Because I define who I am & I am claiming this.
I am waging war against evil. I will fight to the end. I will recognize the negativity out there, in all sizes, shapes, & forms, & I will be angry with it. I will no longer stand still in shock when someone says something spiteful; I will no longer bestow the "benefit of the doubt"! For I do not see any benefit of doubting; I will no longer give ground when fallacy flaunts it's foul form.
I am waging war against evil... And I will combat it even in it's subtle forms... Whether people like it, or not.
I am sick and tired, folks. Sick and tired of the insidious &, oh, so smooooooth way that evil pervades our beautiful lives. I've despised it from the beginning, but I felt powerless to do much about it... That has changed. I have discovered some interesting things about myself... Things I've been saying for years, but never fully comprehended. (Still probably don't, for that matter, but I sure am gettin' closer, eh? =)
And one sentence sums it up: I am a Warrior Woman.
One that wants to see some serious changes in this hell on earth.
One that's going to do ALL in her power to help bring those changes about. (And that power, I'm discovering, ain't nothin' to laugh at.) One that will never, ever give up, or renege.
So... If I've made people, um, shall we say, uncomfortable, in the past... With my inexplicable faith & "stubbornness" in accepting the "not that bigga deal" malignancies here & there, I must truly apologize in advance...
It will probably get even more uncomfortable.
And... For those of you that love these qualities in me, & are thrilled that I'm boldly claiming my Warriorship, well, I must Thank You in advance...
You, with God, are the ones that lifted me to this point, & it's about to get reeeeally fabulous! =)=)=)
Seriously, I am sooo grateful for all my beautiful friends! You have supported me & loved me unconditionally for sooo many years! Where would I be without YOU?!? Not so strong, that's for sure! Not so filled with faith & dedication, that's for sure!
I'd probably still be a confused, depressed little girl, struggling with trusting my own thoughts & everybody elses's opinion about me... What an ugly place that was. Ugh.
Thank you, my dearest sisters (& you few marvelous men out there =), for all the faith in me you've expressed over the years!!! YOU have helped me become WHO I AM. Couldn't have done it without you, each one of you, & that's a fact. So, if you're one who happens to be thrilled that I'm "embracing my inner warrior", well, give yourself a pat on the back!!! Cuz I wouldn't & couldn't be IF NOT FOR THE ESSENTIAL ROLE you've PLAYED IN MY LIFE!
I love you, love you, love you! =)=)=)
So, we'll see where this takes us, shall we? Surely it won't be pleasant & smooth... But I don't care anymore... I will do whatever it takes to root out & eradicate as much evil as possible in this world. I'll not wish for "the simple life" anymore. I'll now embrace the challenges placed before me as opportunities to "fight for right", & if the battleground is rough & ugly... Who cares? And if I stand alone at times... Who cares? And if I lose those I love at times... (Okay, I can't really say "Who cares?" about that one, but I'll try & keep my focus on the fact that I'll know we'll be connected again eventually. So...) I say... Dang it! to losing loved ones.
(Not much left to say after that is there?)
There's so much more in my heart & soul on this particular topic, but I cannot type anymore... Too much goin' on elsewhere that needs to be addressed, you know?
Love you ALL with all my heart (no matter how you view me =),
Prayin' that we'll all see more clearly who we are individually, so that we can more fully stand up & support each other collectively,
Ang
24 March, 2009
Scratch the Comment Request.
Apparently, it does not allow you to comment when I "hide" them... Sorry! I'm really quite bummed about it, hopefully you're not as sad as me. =)
If any of y'all don't already know my e-mail address, well, I guess it's probably fine to put it on here, just in case... rediscoveringpurpose@hotmail.com
If you'd like to share your thoughts... That's probably the best way to do it, at the moment. =)
Though, I admit, I'm not all that great with checking my e-mail... I am getting better! =)
I hope you're all having a fabulous day! I am emotionally, but physically is a different matter altogether. Ugh, my body's rebelling in a big way today... But "This Too Shall Pass", you know?
Anyway, just wanted to apologize for my oversight the other day...
Love you all GIGANTICALLY,
Prayin' for patience & peace (for everybody! =),
Ang
If any of y'all don't already know my e-mail address, well, I guess it's probably fine to put it on here, just in case... rediscoveringpurpose@hotmail.com
If you'd like to share your thoughts... That's probably the best way to do it, at the moment. =)
Though, I admit, I'm not all that great with checking my e-mail... I am getting better! =)
I hope you're all having a fabulous day! I am emotionally, but physically is a different matter altogether. Ugh, my body's rebelling in a big way today... But "This Too Shall Pass", you know?
Anyway, just wanted to apologize for my oversight the other day...
Love you all GIGANTICALLY,
Prayin' for patience & peace (for everybody! =),
Ang
22 March, 2009
Please Continue Commenting...
But know that I will not be "showing" any of them, for a time.
Not sure of the length of that time, as I have no control over some particulars in my current situation...
I just wanted to let y'all know.
Sorry for any concern that any of you are now experiencing...
(And sorry for how lame & understated that seems.)
Please do continue commenting, though, I cannot express enough how marvelous it's been to receive your thoughts in return! =) Many more than have been published have commented & each little sentence thrills me to pieces, regardless of whether they get posted. =)=)=)
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please continue exercising your faith, my wonderful ladies, it's needed now more than fear MORE THAN EVER BEFORE!!!
I promise that God is paying attention to all that is going on everywhere & He WILL NOT allow this crazy life to hold more than we can each handle, individually AND collectively!
My entire life has testified of this.
(Doesn't always make sense to me...
And I DEFINITELY don't always like it!
But I know it's truth...)
Loving you all from a beautiful, safe place,
Praying we all get through whatever's coming with our faith intact,
No Matter WHAT Happens,
Angelina
Not sure of the length of that time, as I have no control over some particulars in my current situation...
I just wanted to let y'all know.
Sorry for any concern that any of you are now experiencing...
(And sorry for how lame & understated that seems.)
Please do continue commenting, though, I cannot express enough how marvelous it's been to receive your thoughts in return! =) Many more than have been published have commented & each little sentence thrills me to pieces, regardless of whether they get posted. =)=)=)
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please continue exercising your faith, my wonderful ladies, it's needed now more than fear MORE THAN EVER BEFORE!!!
I promise that God is paying attention to all that is going on everywhere & He WILL NOT allow this crazy life to hold more than we can each handle, individually AND collectively!
My entire life has testified of this.
(Doesn't always make sense to me...
And I DEFINITELY don't always like it!
But I know it's truth...)
Loving you all from a beautiful, safe place,
Praying we all get through whatever's coming with our faith intact,
No Matter WHAT Happens,
Angelina
20 March, 2009
Why Do My Cars' Treat Me So?
Yep, another one bites the dust...
(Yet another hangin'-by-my-seatbelt-doozy-of-a-crash one, too.)
Figure I better share with y'all about it, since some of you know pieces & may still be worried 'bout the (seemingly) constant danger that I find myself in...
One would think I was a bad driver or something (you may smile a little, tiny bit, but don't even think about laughing!), but I repeatedly contend that "I didn't do anything!!!" (I mean, nothing that I haven't done a million times over the years, & felt not-a-touch of danger those other 999,999 times!!!)
Come on now, though one other person that I know may disagree, I Am Not A Bad Driver!
These things JUST HAPPEN to ME...
Last years' experience was pretty scary, for those of you that don't know, & I remember what a good day it started as: I'd been kept from attending my classes for over a month, and was finally on my way back to school... Determined to catch up, though I wasn't sure how it could be done, as I was sooooo behind! Zeke had had RSV for an entire month, though he hadn't needed to be hospitalized, so I'd needed to stay home with him during that trying period. Then the girls got some stomach bug & spent a whole week puking their little guts out! Not to be outdone by my precious children, I proceeded to acquire the nasty flu that had been so virulent that season & was soooooooooooooooooo sick for, you guessed it, another week! (Honestly, I have NEVER had the flu even close to as bad as I had it that week; it was actually scary.) And it was all back-to-back-crazy!
Yeah, it'd been a loooong 6 weeks. =(
So, finally, I was ready & rarin' to go! It was St. Patrick's Day... I felt fabulous physically... (Had an adorable white shirt on, with big sparkly green words on it, so I felt oh-so-cute-&-festive...)
It was gonna be a great day! =)=)=)
Then I turned the corner to head up towards campus, the sun became blinding, I put my visor down (thought, "Gosh, I feel great today!"), and WHAM!!! slammed into a parked pick-up truck, flipped up & over through the air, landed with a glass-slamming crash on my side...
Hangin' sideways by my seatbelt.
They sawed into the windshield & cut my seatbelt to free me.
Miraculously, I only broke my left finger, (my hand hit the top of the window frame as I flipped) & had some scratches from the shattered window. Blew everyone away.
This time was even more astounding...
It was slushy & icy, but I wasn't too worried about it, cuz I'm used to driving in that kind of weather, you know? No big deal.
Unfortunately, the road itself disagreed.
I felt the tires slip out of control, there wasn't time to do much about it, I headed fast towards the high median in the middle of the road ("No, No, No, NO!"), then spun fast (in a full 360 through the giant semi-trucks) towards the right & onto the grass, and WHAM!!!!! hit a fairly sized tree stump, flipped completely upside down, landed with my head pressed against the shattered windshield ("Please, God, Please, God, Please, God")...
Hangin' upside down by my seatbelt.
*Listening to the steady, calming voice of Elder Wirthlin continue giving the conference talk "Come What May, and Love It".
(No joke. That's what I'd been listening to as my tires spun out of control, & it was still playing as I hung there.)*
A guy came & broke my passenger window, & held up my legs so I wouldn't fall as I unbuckled my seatbelt, in order to get me out.
Yeah, I was pretty devastated.
Buuut, I took stock (Elder Wirthlin helped me breathe & do that! =) & realized I wasn't really hurting & remembered that God always helps everything work out somehow...
Miraculously, after a full examination (ultrasound & everything), not a single scratch nor bruise upon me... & the baby is dandy.
NOT A SCRATCH OR BRUISE! AFTER all THAT!?!?!
That's a miracle. NO doubt about it. =)
And it gets better! I had just "happened" to meet a lady recently that had given me her number, which I called after I climbed from the wreckage (for reasons known only to God, at that point, cuz I sure didn't know what I was doin'!!!), & she managed to hook me up with another lady that resided relatively close by (which is a whole different set of miracles, in & of itself), as I was completely out in the middle of nowhere, not knowing a soul!
That beautiful, kind, generously-willing-to-be-of-service-to-a-stranger lady came & stayed with me in the hospital for several hours (it takes forever to make sure a body's okay nowadays! =), took me to her home & offered me a guestroom, took me to my car to snag what I needed from it, listened to me "unload" the pain & trials & faith of (what seemed like the entirety of) my life, & soooooooooooooooo much more!!!
I would rather have her in my life than my car, hands down... She'll be an eternal friend/sister, no question.
We wonder "Why is this happening to me?" (or "Why Do My Cars' Treat Me So?" =) & sometimes we miss out on the beauty & blessings of it all... The very question itself leads to lamenting, so we block the gifts God wants to shower down upon us, y'know? When we ask, in sincerity, "What is it God would have me learn from this?" or "What good purpose does He have in store amidst this situation?" then we can see clearly enough to catch glimpses of the joy & bounty He has sprinkled generously among the "wreckage" of whatever it may be that we're traveling through at the moment! I love it!!! =)=)=)
I'm just lucky enough that He helps make it easy for me to see. =)
*I mean, come on now, it's not every crash that plays "Come What May, and Love It", directly from an Apostle of the Lord, to you! How much easier could He have made it? Not much, I'd say. =)*
So, why DO my cars' "treat me so"?
The conclusion I've come to is this:
Cuz the car & the road & the sun & the slush, & the whatever else ya wanna throw in there, have learned to trust in God above & beyond anything else, that's why. "They" "know" a blessing will be received... somehow...
We're just a little slower than they'all are, sometimes. =)
Love you all,
Pray you're all doing as well & safe as I am,
And that you're seein' Gods' hands in EVERYTHING around you,
Even the wreckages,
Angelina
(Yet another hangin'-by-my-seatbelt-doozy-of-a-crash one, too.)
Figure I better share with y'all about it, since some of you know pieces & may still be worried 'bout the (seemingly) constant danger that I find myself in...
One would think I was a bad driver or something (you may smile a little, tiny bit, but don't even think about laughing!), but I repeatedly contend that "I didn't do anything!!!" (I mean, nothing that I haven't done a million times over the years, & felt not-a-touch of danger those other 999,999 times!!!)
Come on now, though one other person that I know may disagree, I Am Not A Bad Driver!
These things JUST HAPPEN to ME...
Last years' experience was pretty scary, for those of you that don't know, & I remember what a good day it started as: I'd been kept from attending my classes for over a month, and was finally on my way back to school... Determined to catch up, though I wasn't sure how it could be done, as I was sooooo behind! Zeke had had RSV for an entire month, though he hadn't needed to be hospitalized, so I'd needed to stay home with him during that trying period. Then the girls got some stomach bug & spent a whole week puking their little guts out! Not to be outdone by my precious children, I proceeded to acquire the nasty flu that had been so virulent that season & was soooooooooooooooooo sick for, you guessed it, another week! (Honestly, I have NEVER had the flu even close to as bad as I had it that week; it was actually scary.) And it was all back-to-back-crazy!
Yeah, it'd been a loooong 6 weeks. =(
So, finally, I was ready & rarin' to go! It was St. Patrick's Day... I felt fabulous physically... (Had an adorable white shirt on, with big sparkly green words on it, so I felt oh-so-cute-&-festive...)
It was gonna be a great day! =)=)=)
Then I turned the corner to head up towards campus, the sun became blinding, I put my visor down (thought, "Gosh, I feel great today!"), and WHAM!!! slammed into a parked pick-up truck, flipped up & over through the air, landed with a glass-slamming crash on my side...
Hangin' sideways by my seatbelt.
They sawed into the windshield & cut my seatbelt to free me.
Miraculously, I only broke my left finger, (my hand hit the top of the window frame as I flipped) & had some scratches from the shattered window. Blew everyone away.
This time was even more astounding...
It was slushy & icy, but I wasn't too worried about it, cuz I'm used to driving in that kind of weather, you know? No big deal.
Unfortunately, the road itself disagreed.
I felt the tires slip out of control, there wasn't time to do much about it, I headed fast towards the high median in the middle of the road ("No, No, No, NO!"), then spun fast (in a full 360 through the giant semi-trucks) towards the right & onto the grass, and WHAM!!!!! hit a fairly sized tree stump, flipped completely upside down, landed with my head pressed against the shattered windshield ("Please, God, Please, God, Please, God")...
Hangin' upside down by my seatbelt.
*Listening to the steady, calming voice of Elder Wirthlin continue giving the conference talk "Come What May, and Love It".
(No joke. That's what I'd been listening to as my tires spun out of control, & it was still playing as I hung there.)*
A guy came & broke my passenger window, & held up my legs so I wouldn't fall as I unbuckled my seatbelt, in order to get me out.
Yeah, I was pretty devastated.
Buuut, I took stock (Elder Wirthlin helped me breathe & do that! =) & realized I wasn't really hurting & remembered that God always helps everything work out somehow...
Miraculously, after a full examination (ultrasound & everything), not a single scratch nor bruise upon me... & the baby is dandy.
NOT A SCRATCH OR BRUISE! AFTER all THAT!?!?!
That's a miracle. NO doubt about it. =)
And it gets better! I had just "happened" to meet a lady recently that had given me her number, which I called after I climbed from the wreckage (for reasons known only to God, at that point, cuz I sure didn't know what I was doin'!!!), & she managed to hook me up with another lady that resided relatively close by (which is a whole different set of miracles, in & of itself), as I was completely out in the middle of nowhere, not knowing a soul!
That beautiful, kind, generously-willing-to-be-of-service-to-a-stranger lady came & stayed with me in the hospital for several hours (it takes forever to make sure a body's okay nowadays! =), took me to her home & offered me a guestroom, took me to my car to snag what I needed from it, listened to me "unload" the pain & trials & faith of (what seemed like the entirety of) my life, & soooooooooooooooo much more!!!
I would rather have her in my life than my car, hands down... She'll be an eternal friend/sister, no question.
We wonder "Why is this happening to me?" (or "Why Do My Cars' Treat Me So?" =) & sometimes we miss out on the beauty & blessings of it all... The very question itself leads to lamenting, so we block the gifts God wants to shower down upon us, y'know? When we ask, in sincerity, "What is it God would have me learn from this?" or "What good purpose does He have in store amidst this situation?" then we can see clearly enough to catch glimpses of the joy & bounty He has sprinkled generously among the "wreckage" of whatever it may be that we're traveling through at the moment! I love it!!! =)=)=)
I'm just lucky enough that He helps make it easy for me to see. =)
*I mean, come on now, it's not every crash that plays "Come What May, and Love It", directly from an Apostle of the Lord, to you! How much easier could He have made it? Not much, I'd say. =)*
So, why DO my cars' "treat me so"?
The conclusion I've come to is this:
Cuz the car & the road & the sun & the slush, & the whatever else ya wanna throw in there, have learned to trust in God above & beyond anything else, that's why. "They" "know" a blessing will be received... somehow...
We're just a little slower than they'all are, sometimes. =)
Love you all,
Pray you're all doing as well & safe as I am,
And that you're seein' Gods' hands in EVERYTHING around you,
Even the wreckages,
Angelina
17 March, 2009
Is That a Rototiller I Hear?
Seriously... Is it? Is it reeallllly??? I believe it is!!! =)=)=)
I AM SOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)=)=)=)=)=)=)
There's a garden plot here, & I do believe I'm in heaven today, just thinking of gardening again! =) Losing my hopes & dreams of my garden plans has been one of the most difficult things in leaving my recent home. (On top of all the other painful aspects. Sheesh, it never ends!) I had even planted a cute, little hazelnut tree! Sad, eh? Yeah, no more 12 ft. by 75 ft. garden space for me... See? I've been feeling slightly sorry for myself, I admit it... Missing the plot & the trees, the beauty of it all, & the plans for future years to come... &, especially, the way I felt close to God each moment I spent surrounded by His magnificent handiwork!
WHICH IS WHY THIS IS SUCH A GIFT TODAY! =)
I didn't even realize there was a garden area here. I've been so wrapped up in getting settled, acquiring a doctor for this baby, organizing my meager belongings, attending therapy sessions, making sure I eat & sleep... The list goes on... =) To be honest, I hadn't even stepped foot into the backyard! And then, this glorious day, I hear the familiar thrum of a rototiller! What inexplicable joy to realize that it's coming from this very property! What pure pleasure to realize that I'll have my own dirt to play in again!!! =) Little though it may be, it'll still be "my very own" & I can plant whatever my little heart desires! =)=)=) To pull out all the usurping weeds! (That's honestly one of my favorite parts... Yes, weeding! Because I know that with each weed I pull the tender vegetables around it will grow bigger & more nutritious!) It's fabulous fun to play a part in His creations, don't'cha think?!
Oh, to watch things grow again!
I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)=)=)=)=)=)=)
And that is why I must leave off writing immediately, so as to plan what's best to sow in this area & have everything prepared for the right time to do so!!!
Love you all forever,
Miss you, too,
Pray you take time this year to enjoy this beautiful, dirty earth that God gave you!!! =)
See ya lata,
Ang
I AM SOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)=)=)=)=)=)=)
There's a garden plot here, & I do believe I'm in heaven today, just thinking of gardening again! =) Losing my hopes & dreams of my garden plans has been one of the most difficult things in leaving my recent home. (On top of all the other painful aspects. Sheesh, it never ends!) I had even planted a cute, little hazelnut tree! Sad, eh? Yeah, no more 12 ft. by 75 ft. garden space for me... See? I've been feeling slightly sorry for myself, I admit it... Missing the plot & the trees, the beauty of it all, & the plans for future years to come... &, especially, the way I felt close to God each moment I spent surrounded by His magnificent handiwork!
WHICH IS WHY THIS IS SUCH A GIFT TODAY! =)
I didn't even realize there was a garden area here. I've been so wrapped up in getting settled, acquiring a doctor for this baby, organizing my meager belongings, attending therapy sessions, making sure I eat & sleep... The list goes on... =) To be honest, I hadn't even stepped foot into the backyard! And then, this glorious day, I hear the familiar thrum of a rototiller! What inexplicable joy to realize that it's coming from this very property! What pure pleasure to realize that I'll have my own dirt to play in again!!! =) Little though it may be, it'll still be "my very own" & I can plant whatever my little heart desires! =)=)=) To pull out all the usurping weeds! (That's honestly one of my favorite parts... Yes, weeding! Because I know that with each weed I pull the tender vegetables around it will grow bigger & more nutritious!) It's fabulous fun to play a part in His creations, don't'cha think?!
Oh, to watch things grow again!
I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)=)=)=)=)=)=)
And that is why I must leave off writing immediately, so as to plan what's best to sow in this area & have everything prepared for the right time to do so!!!
Love you all forever,
Miss you, too,
Pray you take time this year to enjoy this beautiful, dirty earth that God gave you!!! =)
See ya lata,
Ang
06 March, 2009
Which Part of Me is NOT Me?
You know, it's interesting to me just how clearly a child within you can make their desires known... It's the most fascinating thing, really. =) Confusing, at first, & extraordinary, for sure, but truly intriguing when one takes a step back & just looks at what's really going on. I've been experiencing it in a way that I never have before, & it's heavily on my mind today, so I decided to share! (Ahhh, the beauty of the blog!!! =)
Now, I've definitely experienced this baby-makes-desires-known thing before, but never in quite the way, & to the degree, that I have been lately... And I feel sooo, um, perplexed, shall we say, about WHAT is really going on in "my" decision-making processes.
Not that that's all that unusual; many of you have been through my pregnancies with me & recall the way I feel (generally) so aggravated with the feeling of "not quite" being "ME". =) I've expressed frequent distaste for that feeling of being "taken over" & I always look forward to "being myself again" after the pregnancy is over; that's just the way I am when I'm pregnant! And I don't know, maybe I'm just more sensitive now after so many pregnant experiences, but it seems to me that this child is a bit more, um, hmmm, forward(?)... There's definitely more, um, interest displayed towards aspects of life, & my decisions about it, beyond the typically odd food cravings & Here-let-me-show-you-my-personality-through-wigglin'-my-tush-&-jammin'-my elbow-in-your-ribs-juuuuuuust-so!-There!!!-Now-you-see-more-what-I'll-be-like-right-mom?!?-Aaanything-I-can-do-to-help...
I mean, honestly, Elizabeth made it clear that she! didn't! care! how much money she ran up on the credit card! she wanted buffalo wings (only from Pizza Hut) & steaks(???) & Jamba Juices (does it really matter if you have to drive 45 minutes to get one?) & she wanted that food NOW!!! I also stopped eating candy. Really. Just... didn't want it anymore. All of that was incredibly bizarre for me. (Well, okay, I'd loved Jamba's for years... but not when you have to go out of your way for one!) Especially the steaks, lack of candy cravings, & rampant credit card usage for dining out. WHY was I changing so dramatically & just WHO was I becoming & WHEN had I ever not been able to stop myself from whipping out that stupid piece of plastic???!!!??? "I felt strange" would've been the understatement of the century... I felt like I'd been taken over by an alien!!! (And, of course, that was just a sneak preview into how, um, single-minded my dear sweet Elizabeth would prove to be. =) In addition to all that, she did a great "juuuuuuuust-so!" by poking us back every time we tried to feel for her, or get her attention; it was awesome! (And soooooo very HER! =) We tested her regularly, to see how much she was paying attention & how long she'd "play" with us... She was always paying attention. And she'd bump us back no matter which side of my belly we jabbed, no matter how long it took her to manuever over to the other side, for up to twenty minutes! Fabulous! =)=)=) And does it remind any of you of a little girl you know now? Maybe one that was requesting, "please don't drink that anymore, daddy" & when asked why, "cuz it's got 'carbi-ation' in it, & it's not good for your body"... All at the tender age of 18-19 months... Yep, that's my Elizabeth all right! Payin' attention & doin' somethin' about it. =)=)=)
Karlianne was different, of course, just as she should be: I didn't have an abundance of cravings... Mostly I just wanted vague things: more sweets, give me sugar, any old junk will do, you know, that kind of thing. =) The only one that was specific, & indisputable, was the desire for a crisp bean burrito from Taco Time... Simple enough, right? (And cheap! =) Ohhh, nooo! It was impossible!!! I was unable to satisfy my (single, true) craving throughout my entire pregnancy... BECAUSE THERE ARE NO TACO TIMES' IN GEORGIA! One of my dearest friends even brought over a deep-fat-fryer & we attempted to duplicate them... The only thing we succeeded in satisfying was our yearly quota of gut-busting laughter because of how completely pathetic our attempts became. =)=)=) The "juuuuuuuust-so!" that Karlianne routinely did was simply this: Never. Stop. Moving. No joke! She was sooo active that I actually went to the hospital once, during my eighth month, cuz I hadn't felt her move in... 2 hours!!! By the time we got a monitor hooked up it had been... 4 whole hours!!! I was downright concerned... She'd NEVER held still thaaaaaaaat long since I'd first felt movement! It amazes me how telling that is, even to this day... Everyone who knows Karlianne knows 1) She's pretty easy-going & only on a few things will she really insist upon, 2) She really doesn't care what kind of junk-food she can get away with eating, if it's got sugar in it, honestly, she's perfectly satisfied, & 3) She is one of the most physically oriented & active child there ever was! =) Hasn't changed a bit, from conception 'til now. =)=)=)
Zeke now, he's a trip! I really believe that child will have more faith than anyone that's currently on this planet (okay, that may be a slight exaggeration... we do have a prophet in residence! =), seriously, I look back on my pregnancy experiences with him & never cease to be astounded. Everyone thought, including me, that it was my faith that sustained me, but I've begun to wonder... Some things during a pregnancy are transient, & obviously move on out when the child does, but some things are changed forever (as in the medium-rare steak that I still enjoy immensely =). There's something about when Zeke was within me... Yes, I had faith beyond any I'd displayed before, there's no doubt of that. Yes, I continued having great faith even after I was holding him in my arms, instead of my womb. But, No, I don't believe I've ever had as great of faith as when he resided within me, & our spirits were in such a strong bond. It's difficult to explain really. =) Well, whatever the exact details are, he will prove to have a faith beyond anything anyone's ever seen in either of his parents, that's for sure! =)=)=) And I don't know yet what he'll really like to eat the most, but he sure was a healthy little craver! Fresh salmon, fresh green beans, fresh pineapple, fresh everything!!! I took better care of myself with him than I've ever done! =)=)=) (See? What was I saying a bit ago? =) It's obvious there's a lot I can learn from my son! =)=)=)
So, now that I've raved about my fabulous, little darlings for quite a bit longer than I'd anticipated, I'll redirect back to the topic that got me started on all this! =)
THIS little new one, still swimmin' around in here, & the engaging, um, intensity with which certain things are made known! =)
Actually, that's pretty inexplicable as well... Hmmm... How would I even describe what's going on? I've already said pretty much all there is to say about it, honestly. I don't know... The bottom line is that this child is more interested in actions I take, than in foods that I eat. (Some of you will understand what that means to me & why I find it so incredibly fascinating. Those of you that don't, well, we need to talk sometime soon, if at all possible; try me on a weekend. =) I am continuously amazed at the types of communication that this child feels are essential, & I find myself opening up to certain people in ways I would most assuredly never do of my own design (not after all the trust that's been broken so recently, anyway). It's interesting to find myself doing things that expose more of myself than I want to, feeling as if my hands have a "mind of their own" as I'm typing more than I'm comfortable with (yet continuing to do so cuz I feel compelled to express certain things), & realizing later (through much prayer & pondering) that it WAS what was best for THIS CHILD &, honestly, really didn't have much to do with ME at all. Crazy cool, eh?
Yeah, I wish I could expound on exactly what I'm talkin' about here, but I feel better just tellin' ya what I told ya!!! =)=)=) (And I love that I feel so loved by y'all, whether I'm pregnant & "not quite" being "ME" or not! =)=)=)
Love you ALL, & pray that we all learn to respect our children's individual needs & desires, & what's best for everybody as a whole, more than we've ever done before, no matter the difficulty of laying our past &/or pride aside,
Angelina
Now, I've definitely experienced this baby-makes-desires-known thing before, but never in quite the way, & to the degree, that I have been lately... And I feel sooo, um, perplexed, shall we say, about WHAT is really going on in "my" decision-making processes.
Not that that's all that unusual; many of you have been through my pregnancies with me & recall the way I feel (generally) so aggravated with the feeling of "not quite" being "ME". =) I've expressed frequent distaste for that feeling of being "taken over" & I always look forward to "being myself again" after the pregnancy is over; that's just the way I am when I'm pregnant! And I don't know, maybe I'm just more sensitive now after so many pregnant experiences, but it seems to me that this child is a bit more, um, hmmm, forward(?)... There's definitely more, um, interest displayed towards aspects of life, & my decisions about it, beyond the typically odd food cravings & Here-let-me-show-you-my-personality-through-wigglin'-my-tush-&-jammin'-my elbow-in-your-ribs-juuuuuuust-so!-There!!!-Now-you-see-more-what-I'll-be-like-right-mom?!?-Aaanything-I-can-do-to-help...
I mean, honestly, Elizabeth made it clear that she! didn't! care! how much money she ran up on the credit card! she wanted buffalo wings (only from Pizza Hut) & steaks(???) & Jamba Juices (does it really matter if you have to drive 45 minutes to get one?) & she wanted that food NOW!!! I also stopped eating candy. Really. Just... didn't want it anymore. All of that was incredibly bizarre for me. (Well, okay, I'd loved Jamba's for years... but not when you have to go out of your way for one!) Especially the steaks, lack of candy cravings, & rampant credit card usage for dining out. WHY was I changing so dramatically & just WHO was I becoming & WHEN had I ever not been able to stop myself from whipping out that stupid piece of plastic???!!!??? "I felt strange" would've been the understatement of the century... I felt like I'd been taken over by an alien!!! (And, of course, that was just a sneak preview into how, um, single-minded my dear sweet Elizabeth would prove to be. =) In addition to all that, she did a great "juuuuuuuust-so!" by poking us back every time we tried to feel for her, or get her attention; it was awesome! (And soooooo very HER! =) We tested her regularly, to see how much she was paying attention & how long she'd "play" with us... She was always paying attention. And she'd bump us back no matter which side of my belly we jabbed, no matter how long it took her to manuever over to the other side, for up to twenty minutes! Fabulous! =)=)=) And does it remind any of you of a little girl you know now? Maybe one that was requesting, "please don't drink that anymore, daddy" & when asked why, "cuz it's got 'carbi-ation' in it, & it's not good for your body"... All at the tender age of 18-19 months... Yep, that's my Elizabeth all right! Payin' attention & doin' somethin' about it. =)=)=)
Karlianne was different, of course, just as she should be: I didn't have an abundance of cravings... Mostly I just wanted vague things: more sweets, give me sugar, any old junk will do, you know, that kind of thing. =) The only one that was specific, & indisputable, was the desire for a crisp bean burrito from Taco Time... Simple enough, right? (And cheap! =) Ohhh, nooo! It was impossible!!! I was unable to satisfy my (single, true) craving throughout my entire pregnancy... BECAUSE THERE ARE NO TACO TIMES' IN GEORGIA! One of my dearest friends even brought over a deep-fat-fryer & we attempted to duplicate them... The only thing we succeeded in satisfying was our yearly quota of gut-busting laughter because of how completely pathetic our attempts became. =)=)=) The "juuuuuuuust-so!" that Karlianne routinely did was simply this: Never. Stop. Moving. No joke! She was sooo active that I actually went to the hospital once, during my eighth month, cuz I hadn't felt her move in... 2 hours!!! By the time we got a monitor hooked up it had been... 4 whole hours!!! I was downright concerned... She'd NEVER held still thaaaaaaaat long since I'd first felt movement! It amazes me how telling that is, even to this day... Everyone who knows Karlianne knows 1) She's pretty easy-going & only on a few things will she really insist upon, 2) She really doesn't care what kind of junk-food she can get away with eating, if it's got sugar in it, honestly, she's perfectly satisfied, & 3) She is one of the most physically oriented & active child there ever was! =) Hasn't changed a bit, from conception 'til now. =)=)=)
Zeke now, he's a trip! I really believe that child will have more faith than anyone that's currently on this planet (okay, that may be a slight exaggeration... we do have a prophet in residence! =), seriously, I look back on my pregnancy experiences with him & never cease to be astounded. Everyone thought, including me, that it was my faith that sustained me, but I've begun to wonder... Some things during a pregnancy are transient, & obviously move on out when the child does, but some things are changed forever (as in the medium-rare steak that I still enjoy immensely =). There's something about when Zeke was within me... Yes, I had faith beyond any I'd displayed before, there's no doubt of that. Yes, I continued having great faith even after I was holding him in my arms, instead of my womb. But, No, I don't believe I've ever had as great of faith as when he resided within me, & our spirits were in such a strong bond. It's difficult to explain really. =) Well, whatever the exact details are, he will prove to have a faith beyond anything anyone's ever seen in either of his parents, that's for sure! =)=)=) And I don't know yet what he'll really like to eat the most, but he sure was a healthy little craver! Fresh salmon, fresh green beans, fresh pineapple, fresh everything!!! I took better care of myself with him than I've ever done! =)=)=) (See? What was I saying a bit ago? =) It's obvious there's a lot I can learn from my son! =)=)=)
So, now that I've raved about my fabulous, little darlings for quite a bit longer than I'd anticipated, I'll redirect back to the topic that got me started on all this! =)
THIS little new one, still swimmin' around in here, & the engaging, um, intensity with which certain things are made known! =)
Actually, that's pretty inexplicable as well... Hmmm... How would I even describe what's going on? I've already said pretty much all there is to say about it, honestly. I don't know... The bottom line is that this child is more interested in actions I take, than in foods that I eat. (Some of you will understand what that means to me & why I find it so incredibly fascinating. Those of you that don't, well, we need to talk sometime soon, if at all possible; try me on a weekend. =) I am continuously amazed at the types of communication that this child feels are essential, & I find myself opening up to certain people in ways I would most assuredly never do of my own design (not after all the trust that's been broken so recently, anyway). It's interesting to find myself doing things that expose more of myself than I want to, feeling as if my hands have a "mind of their own" as I'm typing more than I'm comfortable with (yet continuing to do so cuz I feel compelled to express certain things), & realizing later (through much prayer & pondering) that it WAS what was best for THIS CHILD &, honestly, really didn't have much to do with ME at all. Crazy cool, eh?
Yeah, I wish I could expound on exactly what I'm talkin' about here, but I feel better just tellin' ya what I told ya!!! =)=)=) (And I love that I feel so loved by y'all, whether I'm pregnant & "not quite" being "ME" or not! =)=)=)
Love you ALL, & pray that we all learn to respect our children's individual needs & desires, & what's best for everybody as a whole, more than we've ever done before, no matter the difficulty of laying our past &/or pride aside,
Angelina
04 March, 2009
Well, Here I Am...
I've actually been here for a week now (Not that you know where that is! hehehe) and I'm safe & sound, so you're now officially instructed to stop worrying!!! (If it's too difficult, then start praying... & don't stop until you're at peace, K? Cuz the universe doesn't need any more negatives, believe me!)
I text' as many people as I could (40! I couldn't believe it!) but there are still so many of you that I haven't been able to even call yet (!minutes! you know how it goes...), so I came up with my "Brilliant Blogging Plan" & here I am! =)
Now, I can share stuff with all my loved ones at the same time!!! (Yes, I know, some of you have been doing it for ages & wonder how I can be so slow, but I can't answer that question adequately, so you're just going to have to focus on your gratitude that I'm finally doing it now! =)
Seriously, though, I feel sooo safe & loved! (Which is a beautifully miraculous thing, after all that's happened. =) This place is amazing!!! I love the community & the people at church already, & I meet someone new that I absolutely fall in love with at least twice a week... These women around me, that are dealing with similar issues, are soooooo incredible! And I really do feel God's guiding assistance, & the reassurance that I'm right where I need to be, so please keep the faith with me, K? God is better than all the junk & He WILL right all wrongs!!! (Yay, God!!! =)=)=)
So, I'm going to try and post weekly, at the very least, so y'all can rest assured that we're breathing & well... Sound good? (If you want more posts, well, you'll need to let me know through your comments to my posts, deal? Deal! =) Oh, and I will be monitoring the comments, since I need certain things to remain undisclosed, so just be aware of that, K? Thanks!!!
I love you all SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! And miss you ALL, as well. I pray that we all gain as much faith, peace, & wisdom as we need to during this crazy life...
Take care of yourself, as well as your loved ones,
Love,
Angelina
I text' as many people as I could (40! I couldn't believe it!) but there are still so many of you that I haven't been able to even call yet (!minutes! you know how it goes...), so I came up with my "Brilliant Blogging Plan" & here I am! =)
Now, I can share stuff with all my loved ones at the same time!!! (Yes, I know, some of you have been doing it for ages & wonder how I can be so slow, but I can't answer that question adequately, so you're just going to have to focus on your gratitude that I'm finally doing it now! =)
Seriously, though, I feel sooo safe & loved! (Which is a beautifully miraculous thing, after all that's happened. =) This place is amazing!!! I love the community & the people at church already, & I meet someone new that I absolutely fall in love with at least twice a week... These women around me, that are dealing with similar issues, are soooooo incredible! And I really do feel God's guiding assistance, & the reassurance that I'm right where I need to be, so please keep the faith with me, K? God is better than all the junk & He WILL right all wrongs!!! (Yay, God!!! =)=)=)
So, I'm going to try and post weekly, at the very least, so y'all can rest assured that we're breathing & well... Sound good? (If you want more posts, well, you'll need to let me know through your comments to my posts, deal? Deal! =) Oh, and I will be monitoring the comments, since I need certain things to remain undisclosed, so just be aware of that, K? Thanks!!!
I love you all SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! And miss you ALL, as well. I pray that we all gain as much faith, peace, & wisdom as we need to during this crazy life...
Take care of yourself, as well as your loved ones,
Love,
Angelina
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